Desmond still hasn’t arrived yet.

You may remember in my last post (if you don’t, just scroll down a little), I talked about getting the theme tune to Desmonds on Vinyl, and how excited I was at this particular series of events… you may have also noticed that I haven’t updated you with anything since then… and that’s because there’s nothing to report. As you can guess by the title of the post, it still hasn’t arrived. I’ve bugged the vendor who have said there’s been difficulties in manufacture, and the latest date they have is September 15th.

I did hear back from the producer of the record, which is nice, so I’ll include a bit of that if and when the record arrives, as it gives a nice little insight into the origin of the theme.

In other news, as I haven’t really been blogging much, I had another operation on my foot a couple of months ago (I don’t think it was long after I bought that Desmonds record), and my foot is healed. I just hope it stays that way.

I didn’t really do a blog about it… initially I intended to, but it literally was about as uneventful as things go. Of course, I did talk about the operation, so in order to pad this out a little, let’s flash back to the start of June…. (cue wibbly effects)…

Oh, and if you don’t like reading about operations, just skip bast the bold section below…

Strap yourselves in, folks, as things are about to get graphic. No photos thankfully. I don’t think they’d have liked me updating Facebook with photos.

Anyhoo. There I am, in the theatre, flat to the boards, with my left leg in the air. My only view was of the three ceiling lights, and a load of pipes, presumably for oxygen and stuff.

In goes the cannula. A device whose name escaped me until just now.

My leg was smothered in KY Jelly. Trying to take my mind off things, I wondered if that was a brand name, or just a general term. I never bothered looking it up, but by the time this goes “to print”, I’m sure I will have. (EDIT: I didn’t.)

There was talk about arteries, and I could feel some device pressing on my leg. I’m guessing this was some type of ultrasound. Dunno for certain, as my view was still of the ceiling.

It was then that the injections started, obviously for the anaesthetic. Pretty much felt like I was a dartboard at that point. I could feel each one going in, followed by a strange sensation I can’t describe, sort-of like everything was going tight.

The anaesthetist would be verbally confirming how much he was giving me, millilitres by millilire, and I guess he wasn’t allowed to just bung the whole lot in one go.

I still had sensation in my feet, like I could acknowledge when the specialist prodded something, but there was no feeling. They tested it with cold spray. Nothing. It was so weird.

Then, the operation itself began. It started with a few crunching noises. It initially sounded like he was cutting my big toenail. Whenever I get that particular nail done at the podiatrists, it always makes a satisfying crunch. Not this time, however, he was more than likely breaking my toe in order to be able to fuse it. Lovely.

It was at that point tried to think of anything other than what was happening around me… My music collection come to mind, and I thought of a way to improve my personal MP3 database (I have an SQL database with the details of my CD rips in them. it should be trivial to include a link to the music files themselves, to save me having to copy and paste the filename each time… In case you were wondering).

In a vain hope to take my mind off the noises even further (and the fact the specialist was now clearly using a screwdriver on my foot) I had a brief conversation about my music collection. I mentioned I had a copy of Manuel from Fawlty Towers singing “Shaddap You Face”. I’m not sure if the guy was impressed or just feeling sorry for me.

At this point, my view changed. They adjusted the bed so I was no longer starting at the ceiling. This was a bit more comfortable.

Now, obviously, I still couldn’t see exactly what was going on, as they had a screen up… Oh, wait. I could see exactly what was happening

Now, you know those big operating theatre lights? (These ones were manufactured by a company called Getinge, which made me think of someone saying “Get In” whilst pissed) Naturally, you can’t see anything in the reflection of the lights, as they’re all concave, but the reflection of the white shiny arm that connected the lights to the ceiling gave me the PERFECT view.

Thankfully, it was pretty much over at this point, but still, they had to sever the tendon and sew everything back together. It’s one of those things were you can’t NOT watch….

I could either just stare straight ahead at the blue cloth, or I could look to my top right and watch all the action. “Oooh, that’s a lot of blood”. I can’t even watch anyone get injected, I nearly snap my neck away from the telly every time a COVID story comes on the telly, so exactly why this proved so fascinating shall remain a mystery. Maybe I was “getting high on my mortality” as Sinead Lohan once sang.

In record collecting news, I’ve been out buying lots more CDs. Seems quite a few places have had a glut of CD donations and are therefore getting rid of them pretty cheaply. I haven’t had that much luck with the boot fairs – obviously my access to these has been limited too, but I did pick up The World of BBC TV Themes for 50p. This is the only known release that includes the full length theme to “Rockcliffe’s Babies”, performed by Paul Hart, Joe Campbell and the children from the Corona Stage School. Who’d have thought they’d have became so famous over the past two years? Oh, wait.

So, yeah. That’s been a very quick life update. Esentally, nothing’s happened for months…. nothing’s new there, then.

The theme tune to Desmond’s

Waaay back in the late 1980s, there was a comedy show called “Desmond’s”, following a family running a barber’s shop in Peckham. It aired from 1989 until the death of the lead actor, Norman Beaton, in 1994.

It would come to no surprise (to both of my regular readers anyway) that I was a fan of the theme tune, and of course, it’s one of the things that stood out to me. I loved it, and it was one of my favourite parts of the programme. It was one of those theme tunes that should have been released as a single, but it wasn’t.

Every year or so, I’d do a quick Google to see if a proper copy, or even an extended version of the theme had been leaked anywhere. Nope. The only things that ever turned up were just off-air, or off DVD recordings. Nothing more than the 45 seconds used at the start of the programme, and the instrumental bit used in the credits at the end. I came to the conclusion that it was only ever used on the programme, especially as it was co-written by the creator, Trix Worrell.

I think I went though one of these search things most recently anout a year ago, when for absolutely no reason, the theme started to be used in an advert for butter. This rekindled my love for the theme, and got me thinking, there had to be an “official” version. As the show ended in 1994, it’s unlikely that it would still exist some 26ish years later, and it certainly sounded better quality than it just being ripped from a copy of the programme.

Once again, I searched high and low (or rather, I searched Youtube), and found nothing. What’s even weirder, is that the full episodes that had been uploaded to Youtube now had the theme tune removed. How very, very odd. Considering that its only use outside of Desmonds was on a butter advert, it seemed very odd that it would just suddenly disappear like that. Obviously someone still owns the copyright to the song, so it could have just been that they didn’t want it on youtube, but why would they object to the theme being on there, but still allowing the rest of the episode to survive? It seemed clear that someone else had the rights to the song now, than what they did when Desmond’s was recorded. Were they planning a re-release?

Again, the trail went cold. No song, no videos on Youtube (except for poor quality versions), no more butter advert, and no release. I put it to the back of my mind. It was never going to see the light of day. A quarter of a century had gone by.

Now, I’ve been holed up for the past 4 weeks, thanks to an operation on my foot. I’ve barely been able to move off the sofa for a month, so I’ve became acquainted with an old friend called “Television”. Tonight (or yesterday by the time this makes it “to air”), I was watching The Chase, and the butter advert made a reappaearance. Just out of complete boredom, I flung “Don’t Scratch My Soca” into Google. Up came a result for Bandcamp. It was 3 minutes long. I didn’t expect much, just a fan remix or something like that. Imagine my surprise when, not only was it the proper version used on Desmond’s, it had a second verse! This was the moment I’d waited over 30 years for. All of the bits were there… the main theme, the bit they fade out when the episode starts, the end theme, and of course, that never-heard second verse. Daddykins, who happened to be enjoying The Chase, didn’t quite understand my excitement, as I fumbled with the remote, pausing his enjoyment of the afore-mentioned tea-time quiz show.

The track was released on June 21st, so only 9 days ago. Not only was it available as a free MP3, it’s possible to actually purchase it on vinyl (at the time of typing). A very small number were produced. 100 in colured vinyl, 200 in black vinyl, and a few white label test pressings. Well, I had to go for the coloured vinyl. I only ordered it today, so obviously, it hasn’t turned up yet. Might be a couple of weeks. Might be sooner. No doubt I’ll update when I have the record in my grasp.

Should you wish to hear the full theme, or even chance your arm at getting a vinyl copy, you can click here. Now, to give my fingers a rest, as typing this all into my phone hasn’t been the most comfortable experience.

EXTENSION: The theme was also written and produced by John Collins, and released under his “Local Records” label, which explains how / why the master recording survives. And, of course, it’s also available on Spotify

I asked some of the questionson the Local Records website too, such as when it was recorded, why it wasn’t released until now, etc.

Eurosong Fever 2021!

Ahhh, it seems like an absolute age since I’ve done this, but in approxiamtely 20 minutes time, the Eurovision Song Contest 2021 will be kicking off. It seems loike an age since the last one, and it is, because the “panny d” put paid to last years’ show.

This year, I’ve not watched any of the buildup, or the “qualifying rounds”, because really, if your song is bad enough to be knocked out of the qualifyers of Eurovision, your song must have a turd in a blender as your lead vocalist.

Anyhoooo, watch this space, as it’s the only “realtime” post I do of the year…. For the record, and because I believe this is the order they’all appear, here’s all the songs, and I’ll fill in my comments for each of them as I hear them!

Apparently, there’s a walk-on now (because everything has to have a walk on now), and they’re playing a remix of “Venus”. Ugh.

Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo (Cyprus)

Huh. Well, this reminds me of something Lady Ga Ga would throw out. I have a feeling it’s not going to be the worst one I hear tonight. I actually quite like this one. I haven’t even had a drink yet.

Anxhela Peristeri Karma (Albania)

Onto song 2, and the first one in a language I don’t understand. Looks a little bit like Carol Vorderman (amusing! Graham Norton just mentioned that), but apparently has a decent set of pipes. the song isn’t really my cup of tea. Won’t be hunting this one down.

Eden Alene – Set Me Free (Israel)

Apparently she’s going to attempt the highest note ever performed at Eurovision. This should be fun.

Meh. Wasn’t that good.

Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place (Belgium)

I llke the band name, douze points. And the song isn’t bad either. I really like this one. Something about a Johnny Cash T-shirt. It did slip down the list as the night went on as the better songs came through.

Manizha – Russian Woman (Russia, unsurprisingly)

We’re about 30 seconds into this one, and I really, really dislike it. I’d definitely be skipping this if it came on Spotify. “BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO BE”…. what, a quid for the parking meter?

Destiny – Je Me Casse (Malta)

Means “I’m Outta here”, apparently. this one’s pretty catchy, with those sax samples. It’ll probably do well.

The Black Mamba – Love Is On My Side (Portugal)

With a band name such as that, I expected a much more energetic peformance. This one’s just the usual forgettable rubbish. We have a winner.

Hurricane – Loco Loco (Serbia)

Another one that’s not in English, but… it’s got a decent tune, and dare I say it’s probably been my favourite so far? Been quite a lousy batch so far if I’m honest. Considering they’ve had two years to prepare, I expected more, even if they’re a new batch of songs entirely.

James Newman – Embers (United Kingdom)

Song nine. Song NEIN more like. Not a fan of this at all. Can’t see us getting much for this to be honest. Seems like it’s been going on for about 5 minutes. Pretty much just the same thing over and over again.

Stefania – Last Dance (Greece)

I’m looking at the list of how many acts there is to go… and then I realise I’m going to be missing BigCliveLive for this. Suddenly, this one picks up and it’s actually quite good. Interesting use of green screen effects. Think we have a new leader for my favourite.

Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers (Switzerland)

It’s a no from me. Sounds a bit like Jimmy Somerville. Too slow. Tries the whole bombastic thing at the end for about 30 seconds, but it’s too late for all that now.

Daði og Gagnamagnið – 10 Years (Iceland)

I can imagine that the singer is going to break my encoding, and that name will proibably end up about 48 random characters. I haver no idea what those keyboard / guitar combos are, but I want one. Nice use of rhythm guitar. Another one I really like. Ohhh, those three keyboards join up and they forma circle. that was great.

Blas Cantó – Voy A Quedarme (Spain)

I’m all for gimmicks, and apparently, this is the biggest prop ever used in Eurovision. a 6 metre long moon. Song’s crap. Wanted him to stand under the moon, for it to snap, and a comedy “splat” sound. Didn’t happen.

Natalia Gordienko – SUGAR (Moldova)

NOPE. Not a fan of this one. Sounds like something that should have been left in the early 2000s.

Jendrik – I Don’t Feel Hate (Germany)

LOL. “This is marmite, if everyone hated mermite.” Surprisingly, I don’t hate this. I don’t have a clue what he’s blabbing on about, but to give it its due, it’s catchy.

Blind Channel – Dark Side (Finland)

I said to t’other Jamie over Facebook that he’d like this one…. “this is fantastc” was his reply, and I have to agree. It’s nice to have something different to what’s been so far. After a slow start, the songs are starting to pick up, and I haven’t even opened a beer yet.

VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old (Bulgaria)

Well, this is the most depressing song so far. Just a reminder that old age comes to us all, and one day we’ll get sick and die. Thanks for that.

The Roop – Discoteque (Lithuania)

Entirely forgettable. Yellow suits. No tune. Bloke looks a lit like him out of Human League. I could probably hear this 50 times in a row and not remember any of it. I’m not going to though. Hopefully, that’ll be the last time I hear that.

Go_A – Shum (Ukraine)

Folk tunes mixed with dance, apparently…. and unsurprisingly, I really like it. Can’t see it getting anywhere, but it’s right up my strasse.

Barbara Pravi – Voilà (France)

Apparently one of the favourites. Can’t see why. Possibly the most forgettable song of the lot so far. She’s probably a decent singer, but seeing as it’s in French, the should be singing about her bloody shopping list for all I know. Naaaaaaaaah.

Efendi – Mata Hari (Azerbaijan)

Nope, don’t think much of this one either.

TIX – Fallen Angel (Norway)

that one’s really good too. I got a bit distraced because I went o put the light on, but I’d probably say it’s on my top 3 so far? Think the staging could have been better though.

Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age (The Netherlands)

Definitely not a fan of this one.

Måneskin – Zitti E Buoni (Italy)

ROTFL… “Maybe it’s grow on me, like mould on a bathroom ceiling”. Graham Norton’s comments crack me up. It’s supposed to be heavy metal. The only thing heavy is my head, as I try to think something decent about this. It’s certainly not “heavy metal”. I was looking forward to this one, and now I’m just disappointed.

Tusse – Voices (Sweden)

I usually like Sweden’s songs, they always come out with some classics. This one’s…. not really one of them. Pretty forgettable. Not the worst I’ve heard tonight. Ah, key change. Now THAT’S Eurovision.

Senhit – Adrenalina (San Marino)

And so, this is the final one. Not a bad batch of entries if I’m honest. Flow-Rider doesn’t improve this one in the least.

And that’s your lot. Wasn’t that fun? Now it’s the tedium of an hour-long half-time show while the votes are counted. Not calling, and I’m not installing an app to vote. so I guess I’ll just have to put up with it. Think I’ll open those beers now. I’ve also fixed the “bold” HTML tag.

Well, wasn’t that fun? Glad to see we did well as usual. And that concludes your Eurovision coverage for another year.

RIP Nick Kamen

Well, it’s not been a good few weeks for losing musical acts who I actually like… We lost Jim Steinman a few weeks ago, and I found out today that we’ve also lost Nick Kamen, who wrote and performed one of my favourite songs “I Promised Myself”.. I first picked up the record when I was in Garmany back in 2007, and I had this to say at the time…

“Another stall sold 7” singles, by far my audio format favourite. I picked “I promised Myself” by Nick Kamen – a song which I’d heard originally in the Hartlepool shopping centre, at about 8AM in the morning before the shops even opened. But that’s a story for another day. I also bought two others which aren’t really worth mentioning, as they were simply ro replace scratched copies of records I already had.”

It just occurred to me that I never told the story of how I heard this song. Right, so I’m going on memories that are *at least* 15 years old, but I remember the main gist of it. As you know, if you’ve followed this blog for over 9 years (well done if you have), that I used to work nights, 3 days on, 3 days off. At rhe end of the 3 days on, it was not unusual for me to have a couple of pints with my fellow work colleagues, and seeing as the local Wetherspoons (which is no longer owned by them), didn’t open at 9, I’d have 45 minutes or so to kill. the shopping centre was next to the afore-mentioned establishment, so this would often see me walk around aimlessly, especially as none of the shops would be open.

One thing that was noticeable, is that the tannoy system was actually audible. It plays the entire time that the shopping centre is open, but it’s normally barely audible by the sound of screaming children, dismayed parents, and all of the other sounds that a shopping centre in a deprived area of the North-East would emit.

Thankfully, as mentioned, it was audible, and I heard this particular song. I’d not heard it before, and insteantly fell in love with it. This was long before the days of Shazam, or even Android (I was probably rocking the world with a (a href=””>K800i back then), but I somehow got enough lyrics for me to google it, and find out the artist.

And… ero, that’s pretty much it. As mentioned, I tracked down the single in Berlin. At some point, I picked up the album on CD, and on 20th February 2016, I picked up the 12″ version. It still amazes me that this song wasn’t a bigger hit than it was, at least here anyway, reaching a measly #50.

In other news, it’s now under a week until I get my second COVID jab. Hopefully things will return to some type of normality, and I can start typing about the crap I’ve found in charity shops again. I bet you all can’t wait for that!

Happy new year!

Hmm, we’ve already somehow made it to 2nd January without me posting my traditional HNY message. Normally I’d cue up a post to automatically appear at midnight, but my word, 2020 was such an embarrassment that I don’t think anything needed to be said at the time, and I’m pretty sure people had more things to do than read my bletherings at the stroke of midnight.

So, yeah. I’ve decided that I’m not going to follow up my 2020 posting with another one, as to be honest, I’d have struggled to say anything. the whole year is best forgotten if I’m honest. Onto a bit of musical statistics now.

2020 is the first year that my music collection has shrunk It’s hardly surprising, however, as I’ve barely been out of the house, but approximately 632 CDs / records were added to the collection, with 836 taken to the charity shops (or are waiting to be taken when they reopen). This is a trend I intend to continue into this year.

Right, so that’s it for now. Have yourselves a good one no matter what you’re up to.

The Unknown Song II

Ok, I’m cheating a little, I typed about this one a few years ago, but since then, the link to the song stopped working, I didn’t put much detail as I could have, and really, there was very little effort on my part. Now, that the real unknown song has been put to bed forever (mainly though the actions and eventual death of DJ Tom Davies), I tought I’d drag this one out of the archives and give it another airing.. I have a feeling this one is a lot simpler to get, as I know it was released commercially at least once, even if it was on the front of a magazine.

As I mentioned previously, around the time of 1989-1990, my record collection was pretty much zero. I had to make do with tapes that my dad picked up from the petrol station, and hand-me-downs and C90s from the likes of Chad. Therefore, it was always nice to find new music from somewhere different. In this situation, it was sellotaped to the front of a magazine. In a change to my usual copy of “Your Sinclair”, at some point I decided to buy a music magazine.

And, this is where this song came in. Now, unlike the other “unknown” song, I can bring it to you in its entirety…. “So, why are you looking for it, then?” I hear you ask. Well, as  you can hear, it’s pretty much had all of the bass stripped out of it… This was a copy on a c90 which I duplicated using high speed dubbing, which had the downside of reducing sound quality. 

Both the original tape and the magazine are long gone, naturally , otherwise this would have been quite a bit easier to identify. 

Without further adieu, here is the song itself…

And here’s the link to it…

In the off-chance you can recognise it from the lyrics, here they are… And this is how I’m hearing them. I can 100% confirm they’re totally incorrect, and put here just for reference…

Oooooh, oooh, (yeah), etc

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Mother, Father dance, Grandma dance, sister dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother, Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance

Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance, two three four

[instrumental section]

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the and dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the and dance (dance dance)

London dance, it’s a dance, New York Dance, it’s a Dance, Japan Dance
Amsterdam(?) a dance, it’s a dance [??? ???] dance, it’s a dance, Africa dance
[Bla Flaya] make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and take a chance
{Maggie Chair*] make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and take a chance (TWO THREE FOUR!)

{indeschipherable stuff for about 10 seconds]

It’s so funny how I twist [on a tin can] send the whole world crazy
It can-a really move ya, or captivate ya, My soul and a-body

So Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, sister dance, everybody come along and dance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and do the dance, two three four

{instrumental bridge}

(Long time) Me no dance, me no dance
(Long Time) Take a chance with the dance
(Long time) Me no dance, me no dance
(Long Time) Take a chance with the dance

Oooooh, everybody dance, oooh, now everybody dance (come on you beautiful [shoe] and er…
Come to the dance a {brisser} dance
A [rippable} skin, let be {no idea}


So, we come into the the place not to watch nobody, 
But to do our own style, yeah [inaudible]
You ever hear about the [places] That I played it
[Watch all the Monday Makoona led leeeeee]

Now, Mama told me ’bout the scat 
But the didn’t show me how
She said get this move
Cos it’s a [lick] right now
Blibbdly blop bleep
B-Blibbdly blop bleep
[something] time in
[something] climb in, awhoooo….

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance

[Last instrumental section]

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (cold ending)

Well, isn’t that a corker? If, by some amazing amount of luck, or a knowledge of music that outstrips mine, please leave a comment below.

Day 8 – Now That’s What I Call Music! 20

So, apparently I took the whole of July off, but don’t worry, I’m still perservering with this! Maybe I’ll have the last two typed up by the time the lockdown officially ends… assuming this blog is still going in 2028.

Well, we’re still in 1991, folks. After all, these are albums that shaped my music tastes, so I guess they have to be early on in the collection.

Let’s fast-forward a few months to Xmas of that same year. This was the last truly great xmas, as it was the last one I had with my mam. Also, the pick of prezzies I got that year were pretty amazing. Santa’s sack really must have been bulging that year.

Two main presents in this particular year… a Commodore 64 (yes, I’m aware I arrived very late to that particular party!) and finally, a hi-fi I could call my own! Something a lot more modern than the ancient thing I’d been using earlier on in the year. Thanks to the wonderment of the internet, I managed to find an image of that exact same hifi.

I had to lift the image off Gumtree, so apologies if the seller ever finds this site, but as you can see, it was an Alba jobby. It’s meant to look like all the parts are separate, but they’re not, they’re all moulded into one front cover. The speakers (not pictured) were the same height as the unit, and connected at the back via 3.5mm jacks, and there were two phono jacks for an auxiliary input. These would become useful later on.

I absolutely adored this thing. It wasn’t without its quirks, however. It had a very basic remote, which allowed volume up / down, and I genuinely think that was it. Everything else featured manual moving parts. At some point during this hi-fi’s life, we switched over from incandescent light bulbs to the early compact fluorescents. The slight issue was that they gave off light at the same frequency as the volume up / down control, so you’d turn the light on, and the volume would go right down to none. Therefore, the remote sensor ended up with a sticker over it for most of its life.

Although the tuner says “digital” on it, it wasn’t. It was still an analogue dial, with the readout given on an LED display. It didn’t come with a CD player – that got added the following year. Maybe that’s a story for parts 9 or 10… who knows?

This was a hi-fi built at a cost, and obviously 30 years later, it really does show, but being able to play records and takes, and listen to the radio, was all that mattered to me.

This was the first of the “Now!” albums to use the familiar style of logo. At the time of typing, we’re into the Now 100’s, and they’re still using a version of this. The font changed when they broke the 100 barrier, but it’s essentially the same.

I could sit and write the list out of what tracks are on there, but there’s 40 of them. Instead, I’ll just pick out the real gems… or at least the ones I like. Music is subjective, so you might agree, you might not.

Let’s start off with Side 1, Track 1… “Dizzy” by Vic Reeves and the Wonderstuff. a perfect remake to me…. nothing like the original, and this was also one of my early 7″ singles, given to me by my aunty. I’m sure I mentioned in here before that Chad taped over the first 30 seconds of this with the “Grease” soundtrack. He doesn’t remember, but I do! Actually, this has just triggered a really weird memory I can’t have been in senior school long, and there was some type of assembly going on, probably doubling up as a talent show., with some of the older kids dancing around to this, complete with cardboard “washing machine” props. For some reason, I always remember these props hanging around in a store cupboard somewhere (probably where they kept the basketballs as the gym was right next door), long after they’d served their one and only purchase.

Er, onto “Pet Shop Boys – Where The Streets Have No Name (Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)”. At the time, I didn’t even know this was a remake, never mind a parody of a U2 song. I thought this was great, and still do. I recently bought the extended version of “Behaviour” which has the extended version of this on. Still a cracking, if slightly obscure and forgotten track these days.

“Love To Hate You” and “Sailing On the Seven Seas are both cracking tracks too.

“Something Got Me Started” by Simply Red is a song that was a grower. I hated it when I first heard it. Now, I quite like it. I don’t think it’d ever make my dream jukebox, but I wouldn’t change the channel if it came on the radio. “Let’s Talk About Sex”, on the other hand, is to me, one of the worst songs ever recorded. I’d jump out of a two-storey window if that ever came on the radio in my presence. OK, slight exaggeration, but I really dislike this song.

To this day, I’m surprised of the inclusion of “Gett Off” by Prince. Considering these albums are ained towards the younger audience, some of those lyrics are a bit… “close”, shall we say? I remember being fascinated by the fact they reversed the “big ass” portion of the lyric, so it just sounded weird.

“Get Ready For This” by 2 Unlimited was the standout track for me. this was the one I looked at on Christmas Morning, and went “YES!” Or so I presume. I guess this was the most played song on this side.

This side finished with Moby’s “Go”, and the amazing “It’s Grim Up North” by the band usually known as KLF. This would have been a perfect tune to finish this side on, as it fades to therelaxing sound of birdsong, but no, they stuck “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss” on the end of it. Not a great song, but I knew of this before I knew of “True” by Spandau Ballet, so my mind was blown when I realised it heavily used a sample.

Turn the tape over, and you’re onto song #6 before there’s anything that’s remotely worth typing about. “Too Many Walls” by Cathy Dennis. I liked this particular track, and it was my first experience of her music. She now writes songs for other people, having many more chart hits this way.

“This House” by Alison Moyet was a dreary, forgettable song, instantly followed by “Walking In Memphis” by Marc Cohn. Another song I’d never heard before playing it on here. Lovely, clear lyrics. Great piano playing. If you held a gun to my head, I’d blast this out on karaoke…… without hesitation. I did always wonder this, though… “The lyrics, “Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale” refers to Beale Street, an actual street in Memphis. Riley B. King became known as the “Beale Street Blues Boy” shortly after he first arrived in Memphis. Later, the nickname was shortened to B.B., and the rest is history.”. I’ll