Oops. Turns out I missed the 2nd semi-final of this years’ Eurovision. Well, I didn’t exactly miss it as I recorded it, I just…. erm, didn’t watch it. Been a busy little beaver this week, and by that, I mean I was sat there on Thursday and Friday, with my thumb only partially wedged up my arse. Thursday was the Premier League darts anyway. This does mean, however, that a lot of tonight is going to be a mystery. I think that makes it a little more interesting anyway. Anyway, in order to get some type of preparation done ahread of the prgramme, so I’m not wasting half the time copying and pasting, here are the 25 songs, in order they’re appearing. Allegedly.
The intro is starting off with some singer who apparently can only communicate with dogs. Was that last years’ winner? I barely looked at it last year. (Yes, he was the winner, AJ, or something) Do they have these flag parades every year? If so, I’ve not taken any motice.
Apparently you can vote now, before any of the acts have played.
And Grahan Morton really doesn’t like the hosts, he’s been hilarious so far already. Aaaaaaaaaand here we go…
1. Denmark: Søren Torpegaard Lund – Før Vi Går Hjem
I think this is one of the ones I’ve not heard before. Can’t remember it anyway Takes place in a “perspex box they haven’t managed to clean properly”. Supposed to be a favourite, but it’s pretty forgettable. Actually, saying that, it’s got better as the song went on. Turns out I quite like that one. “Must be like a petrie dish in that plastic box”. Hahaha!
2. Germany: Sarah Engels – Fire
Ah yes. I remember this one. It’s the one where I didn’t blink for about 3 minutes. Would love to see this one do well. Quite a catchy song, by my word, that stage performance. I’ve gone more bong-eyed than usual.
3. Israel: Noam Bettan – Michelle
Ohhhh, this is where the fun starts. Still think it’s a pretty mediocre song to be fair. Heard much better. that means it’ll probably do really well.
4. Belgium: ESSYLA – Dancing on the Ice
Oh god, it’s the “Dancing on the ice” one. I was dgoing to take a drink every time she sings “Dancing On The Ice”, but I’d like to see tomorrow. 13 times, if I counted correctly.
5. Albania: Alis – Nân
Oh, don’t think this had subtitles last time. Something about a dead mother, apparently. Oh, actually, this wasn’t the one I was thinking of. A bit depressing that one.
And now there’s a break. Only 20 songs to go.
6. Greece: Akylas – Ferto
Oh, it’s him with the tiger hat. Or something. It’s the retro graphics one. I didn’t think it’d come even close, but typically, it was the first one through. And apparently, he’s dressed up as a cat, not a tiger. Same thing. In a way. My opinion hasn’t changed much on the 2ns play, it’s still not brilliant. This was the one I thought the last one was, because of the mother character.
7. Ukraine: LELÉKA – Ridnym
I don’t think I heard this one. A 28 second high note in the middle. I can’t get away from the fact that she looks like Diane Morgan though. Don’t know what to make of that one. Was waiting for it to get going and it never really did, but not the worst song I’ve heard.
8. Australia: Delta Goodrem – Eclipse
Ah, now this one’s supposed to be good. Imagine if this one wins and they end up having to host it in Australia. That’d be amusing. Actually, yeah, this one is good, and probably the best one of the night so far. even a bit of a piano solo. And a key change. If this doesn’t do well, I’ll eat a kangaroo. Or something.
9. Serbia: LAVINA – Kraj Mene
The metal one. I did like this one. Pointy nails, pointy outfits. Something I forgot to mention last time, is that the microphone stand is a stand. that amused for me for some reason, and still does. I’d love to see this one do well. even if it’s shouty. We’re not even half way through.
10. Malta: AIDAN – Bella
Bella Bella Bella. This one’s garbage. The most forgettable one so far.
11. Czechia: Daniel Zizka – CROSSROADS
Ha. Faulty camera moment. I don’t think that’s a video effect. It went when they switched to another camera. Not keen on the song though. Apparently, the cameraman fell, which caused the distortion. Admittedly, it’s probably what I will remember about the song.
12. Bulgaria: DARA – Bangaranga
this son’g apparently really catchy. Yup. This is proper eurovision fodder. If I thought that ‘Dancing on the ice’ one was repetitive, this this one might top it. And, at the halfway point in this song, we’re half way through the competition.
13. Croatia: LELEK – Andromeda
Ah yes, I remember this one from the semi-final. Starts off slowly, gets better. I’ve warmed to it, and I like it. Hopefully it does well.
14. United Kingdom: LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER – Eins, Zwei, Drei
Anyone else spot the irony of our entry being titled in German. It’s the first time I’ve heard this one. Purposely avoided like I do every year. Oh my god, we have absolutely zero chance. A shame, as he came across as being a really nice, if a little eccentric. No chance.
15. France: Monroe – Regarde !
Oh. Opera skills. I probably won’t like this one. And I’m right, I don’t. Decent vocal range, I’ll give her that, butnot even my glass of water, never mind cup of tea. It’s gonna absolutely fly. Hurrah. time for a toilet break.
16. Moldova: Satoshi – Viva, Moldova!
Yep, I liked this one. 100% Eurovision fodder, with the Halo beat, I think at the start. Wonder how Eurovision stands when it comes to clearing samples? Apparently they’re OK with it. Definitely still one of my favourites, and I’m not sure why. If there’s a song I’d play over and over again, it’d be that one.
17. Finland: Linda Lampenius x Pete Parkkonen – Liekinheitin
Apparently, this one is the favourite. Ah yes. This is the one where she got special dispensation to have an instrument playing, and then the entire set burns down or something. Did like this one. Still do. Sort of reminds me of the old Channel 4 Racing theme. I do think this will do well. 20 years since Lordi won Eurovision. I’ve seen them live since then too.
18. Poland: ALICJA – Pray
she swore during the semi-final. I’m going to have to see if I can spot it because I didn’t last time. Didn’t think much of the song last time. Oh yeah, was that a ‘shit’? Not *really* swearing is it? A BBC swear word perhaps. A real-world word. Not a fantastic song. It reminds me of the MC Hammer song of the same name.
19. Lithuania: Lion Ceccah – Sólo Quiero Más
Oh god, it’s Silver Paint guy. He paints himself silver because he comes second in competitions. Didn’t really like this one.
20. Sweden: FELICIA – My System
I really, really liked this one last time, and I’m guessing I will do this time. I always like Sweden’s entries. this one is no exception. Proper Europop at its best. I’ll probably add this one to a Spotify playlist or something. Overall, this is my favourite so far, and I really hope it does well. Probably won’t though because I’ve just given it the kiss of death.
21. Cyprus: Antigoni – JALLA
Oooh, this is catchy. Another one where I might need to find some lightbulbs to screw in while listening to it. 0 points for lyrics, but solid 8/10 for the music. Decent, that one.
22. Italy: Sal Da Vinci – Per Sempre Sì
Upbeat, but romantic, apparently. Ah yes, I remember this one. I didn’t say much about it last time because they’re already through, but… I like this one. It’s another one where the backing track really carries it. Sort of reminds me of when an 80s celebrity would release a single. The instrumental covers the fact that the vocals aren’t the best. But this one, the vocals are actually quite good. I’d like to see it do well
Thankfully, there’s a break at this point, so I made the excuse to go down and get some ‘crisps’. Walkers Oven Baked ready salted, if you’re interested.
23. Norway: JONAS LOVV – YA YA YA
Haven’;t heard this one. Might be catchy. Hmmm, not quite, but I think I can see what would happen if you ordered Freddie Mercury off Temu. Not as good as I was excpecting, but not the worst I’ve heard. Wouldn’t skip it, wouldn;’t play it intentionally.
24. Romania: Alexandra C?pit?nescu – Choke Me
Ohhh. I like this one. Another metal one. Apparently ‘choke’ is in the metaphoric sense, or something, but my word, this one is great. Definitely in my top 3 of the night.
25. Austria: COSMÓ – Tanzschein
The home crowd are going to go nuts for this one, no doubt. There’s one thing I can guarantee, Vienna won’t be hosting it next year. It’s not a great song. the guy looks a little bit like Darragh off The Chase.
And that’s you’re lot. Eurovision oficially over for another year. Only the voting to go now, and all of the crap in the middle that I’ll probably just have in the background while I play Raccoin.
My top three. Sweden, Germany, Romania
this “Waiting for Votes 2 show is much better than anything I’ve seen all night. Not very often I’ll say that, but it was really good this year. Normally it’s just filler, but it seems like there was a bit of effort put in this year.
First vote gone, 0 points.
7 votes down, 1 point. I’ve just noticed Malta have Eddie Hitler on their team.
10 votes… 1 point. Going well so far. Just out of interest, is any of this coming out of the licence fee, seeing as we’re part of the ‘big four’?
Officially half way through, 17 of 35 results… 1 point still.
Well, all of the countries gone… 1 point.
Time for the home viewing. We have absolutely no chance. 0 points last year from the home voting. Can’t see any different this year.
I was right! Last again! I’ll conclude this here. Never EVER doing this shit again… until next year.
Yeah, we came last, as usual, but I don’t mind. Tonight wasa return to a bit of normality after the absolute shit show of last year. 2025 overall was just fucking shit, but the fact that this year returned to some normality meant everything I know I do these every year. I know nobody reads them. Nobody comments. Nobody is reading this now, but things are.. I dunno… stable? Can I put it like that?