The Unknown Song II (No longer unknown!)

UPDATE MARCH 2022: This song is no longer unknown! Thanks to the commenter below, and a little more of an investigation my side, I managed to track it down. It’s called “Dis A Dance” by Junior Tucker. therefore, all of the below is simply for archival value.

Ok, I’m cheating a little, I typed about this one a few years ago, but since then, the link to the song stopped working, I didn’t put much detail as I could have, and really, there was very little effort on my part. Now, that the real unknown song has been put to bed forever (mainly though the actions and eventual death of DJ Tom Davies), I thought I’d drag this one out of the archives and give it another airing.. I have a feeling this one is a lot simpler to get, as I know it was released commercially at least once, even if it was on the front of a magazine.

As I mentioned previously, around the time of 1989-1990, my record collection was pretty much zero. I had to make do with tapes that my dad picked up from the petrol station, and hand-me-downs and C90s from the likes of Chad. Therefore, it was always nice to find new music from somewhere different. In this situation, it was sellotaped to the front of a magazine. In a change to my usual copy of “Your Sinclair”, at some point I decided to buy a music magazine.

And, this is where this song came in. Now, unlike the other “unknown” song, I can bring it to you in its entirety…. “So, why are you looking for it, then?” I hear you ask. Well, as  you can hear, it’s pretty much had all of the bass stripped out of it… This was a copy on a c90 which I duplicated using high speed dubbing, which had the downside of reducing sound quality. 

Both the original tape and the magazine are long gone, naturally, otherwise this would have been quite a bit easier to identify. 

Without further adieu, here is the song itself…

And here’s the link to it…

As I now know the artist / title, I’ve no need to have this on here anymore. Here’s a Youtube link, though. Working at the time of typing, cannot guarantee freshness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mwZZ4R4ba0

In the off-chance you can recognise it from the lyrics, here they are… And this is how I’m hearing them. I can 100% confirm they’re totally incorrect, and put here just for reference…

Oooooh, oooh, (yeah), etc

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Mother, Father dance, Grandma dance, sister dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother, Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance

Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance, two three four

[instrumental section]

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the and dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the and dance (dance dance)

London dance, it’s a dance, New York Dance, it’s a Dance, Japan Dance
Amsterdam(?) a dance, it’s a dance [??? ???] dance, it’s a dance, Africa dance
[Bla Flaya] make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and take a chance
{Maggie Chair*] make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and take a chance (TWO THREE FOUR!)

{indeschipherable stuff for about 10 seconds]

It’s so funny how I twist [on a tin can] send the whole world crazy
It can-a really move ya, or captivate ya, My soul and a-body

So Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (dance dance)
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, sister dance, everybody come along and dance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody take a chance
Chubby Checker make a dance and the world start dance, now everybody come and do the dance, two three four

{instrumental bridge}

(Long time) Me no dance, me no dance
(Long Time) Take a chance with the dance
(Long time) Me no dance, me no dance
(Long Time) Take a chance with the dance

Oooooh, everybody dance, oooh, now everybody dance (come on you beautiful [shoe] and er…
Come to the dance a {brisser} dance
A [rippable} skin, let be {no idea}

{CUE START OF RAP BIT, SOME WOMAN SINGING]

So, we come into the the place not to watch nobody, 
But to do our own style, yeah [inaudible]
You ever hear about the [places] That I played it
[Watch all the Monday Makoona led leeeeee]

Now, Mama told me ’bout the scat 
But the didn’t show me how
She said get this move
Cos it’s a [lick] right now
Blibbdly blop bleep
B-Blibbdly blop bleep
[something] time in
[something] climb in, awhoooo….

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Mother Father dance, Grandma dance, son dance, everybody come along and dance
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance
Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance

[Last instrumental section]

Long time me no dance, it’s a dance in the dance hall, everybody come and do the dance (cold ending)

Well, isn’t that a corker? If, by some amazing amount of luck, or a knowledge of music that outstrips mine, please leave a comment below.