This is now a view that will probably never reoccur, for you see, the fleam market and the regular market have been combined to form one large market. A “supermarket”, possibly? Well, with some of the tat on offer, I’ll not use that phrase.

Today was my first visit to the afore-mentioned “merged” market. The whole day started off extremely un-promising. Thursday is our bin day, so imagine my disappointment when I go and collect the bin, only to feel the depressing feel of cold rain on my balding head. It looked that I’d be missing out on another week of erm.. new market activities. Thankfully, the rain disappeared instantly, and after a shit, shave and shower (only one of those is true), I donned my replacement phone headset, and headed off in the general direction of the town. It’s the first time I’d been out early enough on a Thursday morning to see everyone’s bottle/can recycling boxes full. It would appear that quite a lot of people on this estate have a lot of parties or alcohol problems.

By the time I’d reached the town on foot, the sun was beginning to break through. I had the misfortune of watching a seagull devour a pigeon to within an inch of its life, in the middle of one of the busiest roads in the town. This thing was going hell for leather on this poor pigeon. Traffic eventually forced the seagull to fly off, leaving a mangled, barely alive columbiform in the dead centre of the road. It was one of those “Wish I had my camera” moments. I’ve never seen anything like it before, and I’m assuming, neither had that bloody pigeon.

Shaken up by this whole ordeal (not really), I yoinked some money out of the cash point, and headed in the general direction of the market. I wouldn’t say I’m overly impressed with the whole layout. There seems to still be a great divide between the “flea” and “standard” markets, yet the flea market feels horribly crowded. I can’t be the only one who thought this. While I was exploring the new CDs on Erics’s stall, Andy the Iridium Fan (ATIF) stood right alongside me (plus bike), and didn’t even recognise me until I uttered “Not talking to me, then?”. I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not that I’m not instantly recognisable from a distance…

Anyway. I got some “classics” from Erics stall, including Mike Oldfield’s “Music of The Spheres” for £1. I’ve been after that album for a while ever since I “heard” an “advanced” “copy”. It’s not my favourite of his, but it has its moments. I remember almost paying £14 for it in the now defunct Zavvi store in Middlesbrough, but I thought “I’ll come back later”. I never went back.

In all, I spent £10 on Eric’s stall. I got some absolute garbage which only I remember, such as “Sacred Spirit / Chants and Dances of The Native Americans”. I remember it for its classics such as Ly-o-Lay Ale Loya, and Yeha-Noha. Honestly, I’m not shitting you. I know these tracks. Imagine my shock when ATIF knew them also, as his dad had it on LP. After purchasing the CDs and departing with ATIF, I headed into the town centre. I decided to miss out on my usual pastie, and instead headed to Iceland to see if they had started stocking the “Birds Eye Essentials” chicken curry again. The answer was negative, and left the store empty handed. I turned my attention to Heron, where I picked up 4 rasperry Ribenas for £1, and two Ross chicken curries for £1. The latter curry is, if I’m honest, diabolical. Small, hardly any rice, full of peas, complicated instructions which suggest the use of the “Defrost” section of the microwave, and they almost always come out drier than a nun’s (Don’t go there -Ed). The Ribena, however, was awesome, despite the fact I drank three of them, and then realised I’d hit my recommended sugar level for the day. No, seriously.

A 288Ml serving of Rasperry Ribena contains 30 grams of sugar. A 500ml can of Carling contains 11 grams. You’ll forgive me for sticking with Carling, then.

Home Bargains was my next stop, where I stocked up on Wispas, cherry coke and rice. Oh, and handwash.

I decided that I couldn’t take the town anymore, and grabbed the next bus back to Mercuryvapour Towers. It arrived in only a few minutes. Unfortunatelty, a phone malfunction meant that I couldn’t listen to music on the way home. Instead, I was left listening, and unfortunately, taking in the conversation from the two old biddies in front of he… “Eeeh, well you shouldn’t let her upset you…. that’ll be what she wants…”. I clearly never got the full conversation. I didn’t particularly care. Hopefully, typing it in here will help me forget.

Daddykins was out when I got home. I ate my curries, and spent the rest of the afternoon in a vegetative state. One thing I was looking forward to was Wimbledon. I never thought I’d say that on here, but I was hooked on what was the most historic day of tennis ever.. I was more interested in the fact that the day before, I’d noticed that the scoreboard had crashed at 47-all. It was something that should never have happened. It did. History was made. It was the first time a flip-dot display had made the news since… well, Chad liked my last post, I can’t have that happening twice.

Scoreboard glitches were rectified, and eventually, the match ended with Isner winning. The final score was something stupid.

ATIF came over, after our meeting at the flea market. I’ve got a few hundred more images to add to the gallery in the very near future.

It’s easy to tell how many images you have, both private and public (14,533 at the time of typing), but I still had to find out how much disk space was being used.

They use a third-party service called QOOP to allow you to do things such as print your photos out, back them to CD or DVD. After playing around with it, I found out exactly how much space I was taking up. Sit down for this, it’s a goody…

Final Backup Size: 39.67 gigabytes
Required Disks: 59 CDs or 10 DVDs

CD Backup media Price: $884.41
DVD Backup media Price: $199.90

This no doubt will have changed, as I’ve uploaded a few more pictures since then, about another 300Mb’s worth. Marvellous! Think I’ll run off another one of my own backups now.

You may remember back in September 2008, I came across an idea where I’d review an album, picked by random, out of the weeks’ Top 40. Sounded like a pretty good idea at the time. However, obtaining the record legally wouldn’t really be cost effective, and although I could probably dispose ofthe CD on ebay if I really didn’t like it, it wouldn’t have been worth the chew.

But, that was September 2008. We’re all a year older. Unfortunately, I’ve picked a bad couple of weeks to start this again. The charts are still dominated by Michael Jackson. Sigh. You’d think he’d died or something.

Therefore, I’ll start this whole debacle with a “randomly” picked album. I say randomly, I actually mean “I wanted to see if all of the tracks are similar to the first. For you see, the album in question is…

La Roux – La Roux

Great. Nothing like a self-titled album to get us underway. I wonder if they named themselves after the late Danny La Roux? (You know that’s not how you spell his/her name – Ed) Oh, shut up…

(presses play)

01. In For the Kill

Played heavily on the radio. I never listen to the radio for more than 15 minutes per day, so if I think it’s heavily played, I can’t begin to imagine how many other times it’s played. I quite like this one, and it’s the only one of theirs I know. The vocals are particularly annoying, but distinctive. The “OoooooOoooooooooOOooOOOOooOoo” bit near the end has just made my ears bleed.

02. Tigerlily

The vocals aren’t as annoying as the first song, I’ll give it that. Near the end, there’ some bloke who sounds like the bloke out of “Barbie Girl” by Aqua.

03. Quicksand

I’ve decided that, even after 2 songs that I’m not going to be overly keen on this album. I’m sure I knocked up something similar to this track back when I was 15 on OctaMED. Actually, I didn’t think this track was too bad until the OoooooooOOoooooooOoo’s kicked in again.

04. Bulletproof

Intro reminds me of “Breath of Life” by Erasure. Chorus reminds of the same song. And it’s not bad. I’d probably play that one again.

05. Colourless Colour

According to Wikipedia, the singer is the daughter of that woman off The Bill, Trudie Goodwin. You know the one. The one that was in it for ever. Oh, right, back to the song. Er, I’m not overly keen on this one. Next!

06. I’m not your Toy

Oh, now I definitely did the introduction for this one in OctaMED. Actually, on closer inspection, it sounds more like SID music, something a C64 would produce. According to Wikipedia again, this is going to be the next song from the album.

07. Cover Your Eyes

The longest song on the album, and the slowest so far. Reminds me of something that Yazoo would have done back in the day. this is definitely on the “Play again” list. I’ve noticed that the majority of the songs have poor endings. And, although I quite liked this one, the ending suffered the same fate.

08. As If By Magic

Once again, a very 80s sound. Sounds a bit like a song I can’t think of. Possibly “King in a Catholic Style” by China Crisis. I’ve just head a line that would have made me laugh beer though my nose, assuming I was drinking beer at the time… “It’s not so tragic if I don’t look down”. Story of my life, that.

09. Fascination

That intro couldn’t be any more Erasure if it tried. A bit repetitive, but at least it (sort of) finished properly.

10. Reflections Are Protection

Remember “The Lowdown”, some type of documentary show for kids that was on the telly as I was growing up? No? well, you probably won’t care that this song reminds me of the theme tune from that. Slightly. It’s certainly “heavier” than the rest of them.

11. Armour Love

Hmm. Another slowish one, but not in a good way. This one is particularly dire, and certainly the weakest one on the album. It’s a bit of a crap way to end an otherwise acceptable collection of songs. Oh, and the ending on this one is diabolical. It sounds as if they just press stop on the synths, but keep one going for just a few seconds longer after that. A poor end.

And that’s your lot, minus the bonus tracks which I can’t be arsed playing. Overall, it’s not bad. Couple of good tracks, plenty of tracks which would set the “meh” meter off, and one stinker. I’d much rather just stick the radio on and listen to the good tracks which have all been released as singles anyway.

Following on from the earlier post today, I have returned back from the flea market, with plenty of records and CDs. Unfortunately, it is a bittersweet moment.

My first stop was to buy some singles from a stall I’d previously visited several weeks ago, and picked up a shit-load of really good singles (or, as most other people who know my music taste would put it, a good load of really shit singles). I was hoping that this time I’d be able to repeat this.

Indeed, he had a couple of boxes of singles on display. Some older ones, which appeared in good condition. Hurrah!

I’d picked up 8 for the measly sum of £2, and headed off in the general direction of Eric’s stall. Whilst flipping through the CDs, some stranger asks me a question, after noticing the wad of singles in my hand…

“Did you get those from that stall over there?”, he says, pointing in the direction of the stall over yonder…
I answered affirmatively.
“Oh, because when I looked at them, every single one had a great big gouge in them…”
My heart sank.
“Oh, well there ones ‘looked’ OK”, I replied, whilst contemplating the fact that I could very well have 8 pieces of completely worthless plastic in my grubby little mitts.

I purchased a couple of CDs from Eric’s stall. For those who care, they were “Set The Mood” by David Jordan, “Unplugged” by The Corrs, and “Purple Rain” by Prince.

At this point, I went to check my vinyl. Indeed, my vinyl was ruined. In fact, this one was so deeply sctarched that it actually cracked the record…

So, I’m a bit gutted at the minute. Every single one had some type of purposely made scratch. I’m more gutted at the fact that someone purposely destroyed a whole collection of records for no logical reason. I could have taken them back, but for £2, it wasn’t worth the hassle, and I probably should have looked a bit more clearly than what I did.

Every cloud has a silver lining, however, and I suppose I could use the sleeves (which, were all, except one, generic or company sleeves) to replace some of the more “crumbling” sleeves which house some of my records.

So, with that disappointment confirmed, I headed off to what looked like a new stall. Some guy who I hadn’t seen there before had several large boxes of CDs. Now, on initial inspection, the CDs were garbage. Hundreds of worthless CD-ROMs. My favourite had to be the “interactive guide to weeding”. However, underneath the crust were some actual music CDs, and some good ones at that.

Now, you may remember, that back in September last year, I mentioned that if I was ever listening to a song on my phone (which I do every time I’m at the flea market), and it appeared in the collection of records / CDs I was browsing at the time, then I’d buy it. In fact, that was an almost exact copy and paste from that posting).

This time, I just happened to be listening to “You Got It” by Roy Orbison. One of the first CDs I picked up just happened to have this track on it. The album was “Smash Hits Party ’89″. It suddenly occured to me that I actually have this album on cassette. It was given to me by Narbi Price when we were mere children. I still have those tapes, though no longer have any method of playing them, so it was nice to be able to upgrade them to a format I can still play.

Also “upgraded” was my copy of “Chorus” by Erasure. A song that will always remind me of our annual holidays to Sandy Bay, a little caravan site just south of Newbiggin-By-The-Sea. Chad used to call it “Sandroid Bay”. Overall I paid £3 for 9 CDs, and I even managed to sneak a Michael Bolton one in there, because I do, unfortunately like one of his songs. ONE of his songs. Just one. Uno. Ein. I hope I can’t make that any more clearer. Well, OK, I like two of them, but that’s as far as I’m going.

Moving on very swiftly, before I admit to liking three Michael Bolton songs, I’ll just recap on something I talked about the other day. Sunburn. Yes, after last Wednesday’s day out, I ended up with severe sunburn, which caused much amusement “in the office”. Unfortunatelt, it did leave me looking like some type of alien creature for a few days this week…

The satisfaction of being able to peel great big chunks of skin from my forehead has thankfully allowed me to look a little more human. Now, I have to get a few hours sleep before I return to hell…

Alledgedly, these tracks are “official”, as in, the original ones used on the particular programmes featured, but I do know some of them are almost impossible to get hold of. So the question is, is this CD the real deal, or have I just spent £3 on yet another “remake” CD?

Well, firstly, the back cover is a little void of information, giving only the show title, and no information about composers or anything. That’s never a good sign. It’s time to break the cellophane and take a peek inside…

Well, firstly, it’s looking promising… all but two tracks state “From the BBC production” or whichever company produced the show, and the composers are also listed. However, the CD doesn’t list the artists anywhere, except for two tracks, so I’ve taken a guess with the performers…

Right, so, let’s get down to it.

(01) Casualty / Ken Freeman (3:00)
Never mind. This does indeed seem to be the Casualty theme. Well, the original and best one. Moody synths. Brings back images of slowly breaking glass, and of course, that terrible Oxide/Neutrino record.

(02) Wycliffe / Nigel Hess (2:52)

I loved this theme when it was on the show. Unfortunately, it’s so long since I heard it properly, I’m not sure if this is the proper version or not. If this is the genuine version, it’s got a guitar solo which was never used on the show. What I do know, however, is that it’s really good. The last 40 seconds are probably what was used on the end credits. Great stuff.

(03) Play Your Cards Right / Alyn Ainsworth (02:25)

This is the mid 90′s theme. Utter cheese, and therefore strangely brilliant. Reminds me of Friday nights at about 7PM. Probably that’s when the show was on.

The first 26 seconds are the opening titles. The next minute is the dodgy piano bit they always played at the end of the show when someone won the car. At 1:45, it repeats the main theme, and at 2:09, it has a shorter version of the theme used for the commercial breaks.

(04) Blind Date / Laurie Holloway (3:12)

Again, it’s the mid 90′s remake, with the dodgy saxophone bits. My initial reaction was “This isn’t the proper theme!”, however, it appears they never actually used the starting bit. The part they used on the show doesn’t begin until 1:45 into the track. I couldn’t stand this show anyway.

(05) Heart of the Matter / Justin Nicholls (3:29)

Ahhh, the first show I’m not familiar with.

(06) GMTV / David Arch (4:35)

Hard to explain, this one, as for the first two minutes, it’s the main GMTV theme, played several times, but with different introductions and endings. After two minutes, there’s a long instrumental bit, and the track finishes again with the main GMTV theme, but without the lead sax. It’s all very strange, and it proves that, just like “Play Your Cards Right”, these TV themes were never meant to be heard in their entirity.

(07) Bottom (BB’s Blues / Last Night) / The Bum Notes (2:21)

It’s the Bottom theme tunes. Both of them. On the show, it was credited to “The Bum Notes”, though there’s no mention of it on this CD. The first 70 seconds are the opening credits, with the bit they always faded. The next 14 seconds is the little bit of music they played between scenes which sounded like a drumkit being assaulted, and the next minute is the famous end credits theme, Incidentally, it’s the first time I’ve heard it properly except for on the programme.

(08) Dial Midnight / Phil Binding + Simon Moore (2:27)

Not familiar with this programme. The BFI list it as “Late-night live ‘phone-in series. GB. LWT Tx 1992/02/14 – 1993/12/17″. Crap theme if I’m honest anyway.

(09) Littlejohn (House of Fun) / Phil Binding + Simon Moore (2:57)

I don’t know if I can sit through the almost three minutes of this theme. It’s an insult to Madness. It’s a remake of their hit “House of Fun”, and it is toe-curling. Agan, the show itself is totally missing from my radar, which is just as well. I gave up with 30 seconds of this theme remaining. Absolutely terrible.

(10) Gladiators / Muff Murfin (3:36)

This will bring back memories for anyone who, like me, went through puberty at the same time this show was on the air. It’s also the first theme on this disc to have “lyrics”, presumably written by Muff Murfin. I just had to get that name in there somewhere, as it’s the best name ever. I’m pretty sure this was released as a single at some point.

(11) You Bet / Jonathan Sorrell (2:56)

This is the entire reason I bought this CD. I absolutely adored this theme. It was used for years, during the Matthew Kelly Era. In fact, I loved all of the music from the show… that is, until Darren Day took over, and they “revamped” the music. Jonathan Sorrell composed all of the music for the show, including the music used during the challenges.

This theme is clearly longer than the version used on the show, and it includes a few bits never aired, but it’s the original. And I can imagine this being played full-blast through headphones next time I’m drunk.

(12) Girl Friday / Simon Brint (2:10)

Wikipedia lists this as “Girl Friday was a 1994 BBC reality television series starring Joanna Lumley in which she spends nine days on the desert island of Tsarabanjina near Madagascar.” Sounds about as dull as this theme.

(13)Johnny and the Dead / Stefan Giradet (2:44)

A Childrens ITV remake of the Terry Pratchett novel. That’s all I know. And I only found that out through Wikipedia again. Another dire theme. Very quiet and uninspiring.

(14) Dangerfield / Nigel Hess (2:59)

Hmmm. We seem to have hit a bit of a dry sport for themes I actually know here. Although I’ve heard of the show, I’ve never watched it. It’s another Nigel Hess composition, just like Wycliffe, listed above. In fact, he features four times on this CD. Actually, that’s not a bad theme.

(15) ITV Sport (You Are the Number One) / Union (3:56)

Absolute quality in every way, shape and form, however, this is the version with lyrics, so technically it’s NOT the theme. The version they used as the ITV Sport theme was known as the “Sax In Sweden Mix”, which basically had saxophones in place of the lyrics. It featured as the B side of this theme, which was also released as a single. The vocals are sung by the late Paul Young, of Mike And The Mechanics.

(16) This is Your Life / Laurie Holloway (2:28)

This doesn’t come anywhere near to being the proper theme. Not even close. If you’re interested in buying the CD for this theme, please don’t. It’s not the version from the programme.

(17) Schofield’s Quest / Toby Jarvis (3:15)

I think they’re stringing the phrase “Best of British Television” out a bit much now. I suppose it passes for a TV theme, but I wouldn’t pay money for it. Oh, wait, I just have. Bugger.

(18) Just William / Nigel Hess (2:08)

Nigel Hess is at it again. This show isn’t my cup of tea, and neither is this horribly twee theme, though I guess it fits in well with the programme. And, it’s finished. Phew.

(19) The Bill (Overkill) (3:06)

As Roy Walker would say… “It’s close, but it’s not the one”. though, I wasn’t expecting it to be. It’s a remake of the late 80′s / 90′s theme. Presumably, they can’t have had the rights to use the original theme, so it was re-recorded for CD’s such as this.

(20) Emmerdale (2:19)

Again, not the proper theme. It’s a re-recording based on the original 1970′s theme. The incorrect note 52 secs in, gives it away. The beginning also sounds incorrect. I was never a great fan of the theme, so I can live without a proper version of it.

(21) Heartbeat / Nick Berry (2:16)

Phew. Back to the genuine themes, though, considering this was released as a single, it’s hardly difficult to get hold of.

(22) The New Avengers

I don’t think this is the proper theme. I’m not a fan of the show, but it sounds too modern. It’s also one of the two tracks with no mention of where it’s from.

(23) Hetty Wainthrop Investigates / Nigel Hess 2:46

Nigel Hess makes his final appearance on this CD. Considering it’s the penultimate track, that’s not surprising. Er. Not a lot I can say about this track. It’s genuine enough from what I can remember.

(24) Theme From Coronation Street 1:49

Oh boy! I’m looking forward to this one! Not because I like the theme, it because I want to hear just how distant it is from the original. This is the other track which doesn’t state where it’s from, and is listed as being performed by the “Powerpack Orchestra”. Right. There’s the formalities out of the way. Now let’s hit “Play”.

Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear.

I don’t think I can finish it. I can taste the music. It tastes of burning. That’s the worst ending to any CD in the whole history of anything ever.

Well, there you have it. 24 mixed tracks. Some excellent, some rather mainstream, some which are truly painful. Definitely worth the £3 I paid.

I’ve recently bought the following CD.

Not even close. It cost me £6.99, and it’s almost jam-packed with the greatest works of sports theme ever. I say almost. I may have a rant about the Match Of The Day Theme. Let’s play it through.

(01) Grandstand (Current Theme) – Sound Stage Orchestra

There simply couldn’t be a sports theme CD without this classic, soon to be removed from our TV screens. I love it. From its over-emphasised brass section, to the over-the-top trumpet leading to the seldom heard middle eight. Andy M informed me that the day Grandstand’s demise was announced, Radio 1 played the full version of this. And good on them!

(02) News Scoop (Grandstand Original Theme) – Symphonia Orchestra Conducted By Ludo Philipp

Used by the beeb whenever they introduce vintage clips. And also the theme to Auntie’s Sporting Bloomers. Oh, a pole vaulter’s pole snapped! And someone’s landed head first in the water jump! Actually, that’s quite funny.

(03) The Trap (London Marathon) – Ron Goodwin And His Concert Orchestra

Also the intro to the oliver Reed film “the Trap” as documented in… um, the name of the track. the longest track on the CD, at a whopping 3m 9s. Countless views of Tower Bridge, Cutty Sark and athletes pissing in the street. An absolute classic. The original version had lyrics (I actually saw the film one dreary afternoon)… something like “and she shall have diamonds and pearls”, sung by Reedy himself. It’s a top tune, and still used by the beeb to this day.

(04) Pop Looks Bach (Ski Sunday) – New Dance Orchestra

What can I say? This is Ski Sunday. Literally. Violins, kettle drums, sitting on a sunday afternoon eating biscuits, and maybe some leftover joint. (meat-type, natch). Again, only watched by children to see massive injuries. I’ve ran out of things to say, and there’s still 20 seconds of the track left, ah here’s the big finish!

(05) Soul Limbo (Test Cricket) – Booker T & The MGs

Yes, it’s the unmistakable cricket theme, with more cowbells and xylophones than you can shake a wicket at. A record in its own right, naturally. An intro which always reminded me of my mother emptying the tin ashtray we had at the time. And still have, despite nobody smoking in our house for over 9 years.

(06) Drag Racer (Snooker) – Doug Wood Group

The snooker theme. There is no other. Sod Pot Black. What surprisies me was that this track was recorded in 1976, but the version I have on 7″ is copyright 1982, despite it being the same version. The beeb thought it would be funny to stick crap snooker sound effects on the start and the end, which is probably the reason of the revised copyright date. It’s still a top track. And the remixes of it currently broadcast are sacrelege. Can’t spell that word.

(07) Offside (Match Of The Day Theme) – Mike Vickers Orchestra

THIS MAKES MY EARS BLEED. THIS IS NOT THE MATCH OF THE DAY THEME. THIS IS THE WEEDY ATTEMPT FEATURED ON EVERYTHING SEEING AS BBC WON’T RELEASE THE BARRY THING VERSION. THIS IS MAKING MY EARS BLEED. MAKE IT STOP. Bit of an insight, as there’s still a minute to go. Barry Fenton recorded the original track in 1969, still used to this day. This 1970 mockup is an awful representation of it. You’ll have heard it before. This is by far the low point of the CD. It’s finished!

(08) Drum Majorette (Match Of The Day Original Theme) – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Robert Farnon

Er. I’m not familiar with this one at all. Oh, actually, about 30 seconds into it, a little bit of it is recognisable. Hmmm. 22 more tracks to go. Not familiar with this one at all. Did I put the milk back in the fridge?….. Meh.

(09) Sportsnight (Theme) – Tony Hatch Orchestra

Ahhh. Tony Hatch. I have vague recollections of this theme. My parents weren’t sporty, and this show was always on past my bedtime. Therefore, I know of it expecially, the DA DA DA DA-DA DA! at the end. Wow, it has a really shit sax solo. My god, it’s awful. Never heard this before. Ah, back onto the main theme. Still over a minute to go, and as seems to be the par for the course on these themes…. start bit, cheesy middle secton, start bit again, proper ending.

(10) All Sports March – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Robert Farnon

I can place it. But it’s crap. So. A little about my day, then. I had a bit of a headache this morning when I woke up. But that soon cleared when I got to work, of all places. they’re still replacing the streetlights on Easington Road…… Um…. this theme is really crap. Only 30 seconds to go. I might have to stop and get more beer in a second.

(11) Light And Tuneful (Wimbledon Opening Music) – Sound Stage Orchestra

Bit of a strange name for something that really isn’t that light, to be honest. I love this theme. Usual structure. Main theme, then the cheesy middle eight which gets talked over by Sue Barker, then the end of the theme, which is the same as the start, only in a different key, which I don’t think gets used any more.

(12) Sporting Occasion (Wimbledon Closing Music) – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Robert Farnon

I don’t think this gets used as the closing any more. It got used as the opening a few years ago, to the dislike of most of the public. It’s a boring, tra-la-la thing, with a bit of fanfare in it. Bleh. Not my cup of tea.

(13) Holy Mackerel! (Rugby Special) – Brian Bennett Band

Brian Bennet, ex member of the Shadows, brings us this ditty I always remember from my childhood. Wah-wah synth. and lots of it. you can almost sing the lyrics “This is rugby league!” over it. That’s my strongest recollection of it. Not used any more. At all. Ever. Completely forgotten.

(14) Cranes (Darts) – Doug Wood Group

The entire reason I bought this CD. I knew the name, and the artist of the track. Many google searches drew a blank. Though, a few nights ago, it struck me I might have been searching for the wrong thing. I’d known the artist as “Doug Wood BAND”. The other night, I searched for “Doug Wood GROUP”. Within an instant, I was redirected to HMV, where they had snippets of all of the themes on here. My word! they were all the original versions, and this track was included A google search later, meant I got it from amazon for almost £4 cheaper. Woo. Um, back to the track. Clear recollections of saturday afternoons, with a rotating dartboard, and that scary last note. Almost 2 minutes of sheer brilliance. They really knew how to do snare drums in the 70′s.

(15) Derby Day – Melodi Light Orchestra Conducted By Ole Jensen

Not familiar with this one at all. I’m sure they probably still use it on Derby Day. But not in my presence. We’re only half way through. I expect a lot of rubbish tracks, and some quality ones. Can’t quite remember the track order.

(16) The Challenge (BBC Sports Personality Of The Year) – Melodi Light Orchestra Conducted By Ole Jensen

Oh dear, we’re onto the rubbish. This one has deteriorated badly. Recorded presumably in Mono. I know it to a point, and I think they still use it. It’s not that good.

(17) World Series – Melodi Light Orchestra Conducted By Ole Jensen

Er. I have no idea what they used this one for. Thankfully the last one in the trio of Ole Jensen tracks I’ve not actually heard before.

(18) Saturday Sports (Sportsview) – National Light Orchestra

But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the crap tracks. No recollection of this AT ALL. Literally. I know it about as well as I know the back of my neck. Well, I know there’s a wart on there, but that’s not the point.

(19) Soul Riff (Crown Green Bowls) – Doug Wood Group

To be honest, this is the only Doug Wood Group track I’m not familiar with. I quite like it though. I don’t think the beeb use it any more.

(20) International Sports March – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Sidney Torch

YOU JOIN ME! IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRACK I’VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE! The 2nd longest track on the CD, at 3mins 8secs. Great. Time to get more beers……

(21) World Of Sport March (World Of Sport) – Don Harper Big Band

The only track to stray away from the comfort of the BBC. This is the famous ITV World of Sport theme. It’s beautiful. Stupidly loud piccolos, mute trumpets, more bass than a freshwater lake, and clocking in at a paltry 1min 45secs. It’s just *too* short. I could have listened to it for hours!

(22) World Series (Athletics) – Sound Stage Orchestra

What I love about this CD is the names that were originally given to the tracks, in this case “World Series”. Never-before-heard honkytonk piano solo. I absolutely love this. And, they don’t use it anymore. A few years ago, for whatever reason, they replaced this theme with a synthed-up soundalike. It was exactly the same, except for whatever reason, they re-recorded it. I can only assume that someone at the beeb lost their master before they went ahead and showed the highlights of the long jump from Oslo. Brilliant track.

(23) Grandstand – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Robert Farnon

Another Grandstand theme. The 70′s have something to be thankful for. They got rid of this from our screens. Can you imagine Des Lynam introducing Crown Green Bowls from Wembley over this?

(24) Out Of The Blue (Sports Report (BBC Light Programme And Radio 5)) – Band Of The Irish Guards Conducted By Major C.H. Jaeger

I can only assume, a very famous piece of music. It sounds very recently recorded. Probably from around the time Radio 5 started, which if I remember, was late 80′s? Bugger. I’ve put the CD box somewhere now… oh, there it is…. 1951 according to the booklet. No way.

(25) Goodwood Galop – Queen’s Hall Light Orchestra Conducted By Robert Farnon

Wy word. This is fast paced. I thought the CD was skipping. In fact no, it wasn’t skipping, it’s just a crap track. Copyright 1950, apparently. I don’t think they even DO racing from Goodwood anymore.

(26) Sportsmaster – Melodi Light Orchestra Conducted By Ole Jensen

Er. Didn’t I hear this track earlier? Oh, wait. It’s almost the same as the other ones by the same “band”.

(27) Heavy Action (Superstars) – Sound Stage Orchestra

The SUPERSTARS THEME! I took a shine to this after the Beeb resurrected Superstars a year or two ago. Though, when I say resurrected, I’m sure I mean “A chance for some past it celebreties and some dodgy presenters to sun themselves up on a sunny island for however long it took them to record it. I mean, does Johnny Vaughan *need* another holiday? What’s wrong with the swimming baths at Rhyl? That’s where Ron Pickering was every week! Needless to say, Sportstarts has not returned to our screens during 2006. Whew. Only a few tracks to go.

(UPDATE: Superstars is back for Summer 2008, on Channel 5. Although I only caught about 5 seconds of it, it doesn’t appear that they use this theme anymore. For shame My mistake! After actually watching an episode, they do still use this theme.).

(28) The Big Match – Sound Stage Orchestra

I’m divided about this one to be honest. It’s the famous track. Fast paced. Usual structure. Start. Mad oragan solo. End, same as the start, but with a bitey ending. But was it BBC or ITV?

(29) Tour De France – New Concert Orchestra Conducted By Nat Nyll

Nat Nyll. Now there’s a name that rolls off the tongue. No, I’m only joking. Never heard of him, or the theme.

(30) Football Fanfare – Melodi Light Orchestra Conducted By Ole Jensen

Oh, god. It’s back to Melodi Light, with another load of bollocks I’ve never heard before.

So, it’s clear, to me, which tracks are the stand-out ones, and which ones are a complete waste of disc. It is, of course, my personal opionion, and someone reading this could be jumping up and down at the prospect of hearing “Goodwood Gallop” again. And they can, if you buy the CD, which I assume is still in print.

Here’s the lowdown, should you wish to buy it…

UK Code: CD GOAL 1
Something Code: THE GREAT SPORTING EXPERIENCE 7243 5 56711 2 7
EMI Records.
Running Time: 71:16
Time to type: Considerably Longer

I enjoyed that. Normal service WILL resume shortly.