Some of you may remember this. Many of you won’t. I could probably copy and paste the following from many other articles I’ve written about my love of obscure themes, but I won’t.

Back in the days when ITV actually had some athletics coverage, they used a guitar/piano type theme, which as a kid, I adored. I instantly knew I was in for an afternoon / evening of… erm, athletics.

ITV revamped their coverage for the 1990 European Championships in Split, and this awesome theme was dropped. Unfortunately, no video exists of the introductions that use the theme on youtube, or anywhere else for that matter, except for a realplayer video I have. It’s 35 seconds long, and 655K in size. You can imagine the quality.

I’d never heard this music anywhere else (except in an advert played once on the radio when going down the A19 when I was about 7 or 8).

In a series of mind ramblings involving Shazam (that mobile phone app that attempts to guess which song you’re listening to), and its inability to name this particular track, I typed into Google, “ITV Athletics theme”. The first few results were for the newer theme (which I’ve already got), but one hit was from Amazon…

http://www.amazon.co.uk/ITV-Athletics/dp/B002X3LOB6

I took one look at the ‘CD cover’, and the generic name / artist of this track, and thought “Yeah, Okay. This is going to be an awful re-recording of something”.

I pressed play on the sample. The wallet flew out of my pocket quicker than what a Shearas Punjabi Wrap flies out of my body the morning after a night out. It’s amazingly the very same track!

For anyone with access to Spotify, here’s the link to the full track:-
http://open.spotify.com/track/744rOmSP7eujHk5EbSy0hZ

For the record…
00:00-00:30 seconds was never played
00:30-01:00 was the main theme
01:00-01:10 was the bit Jim Rosenthal used to talk over.

NOTE: The timings above are entirely wrong, as I failed to notice a subtle edited loop in the original theme, despite listening to the track constantly for around an hour.

The rest of the track was rarely played, but occasionally edited for random purposes such as viewer competitions, etc.

I thought for many years it was by Argent/Van Hooke, as they knocked out many themes for ITV around this time, but no, it’s actually by the same guy who did the famous 1970s-2000s Grandstand theme, Keith Mansfield.

Right now, I want to be stood in the middle of an athletics track, in the pouring rain, looking slightly pissed off and uttering those immortal words… “Hello, from Brussels”…

Much Longer After: Well, I think that draws this post to a close. I don’t think I’ll be writing too many more of these!

Adverts after: Heh. They must have filmed loads of those carling ads.

90:00 4 added minutes… just enough time for me to finish this can.

78:36 With just over 10 minutes to go, I can’t help but wonder what I should order from the indian – 15% voucher for just-eat.

61:37 Main vein drained, no goal scored. Hurrah. Fly is still bust though.

58:09 I’m going to the toilet. I’ll bet there’s another goal.

51:32 England are still… um… kicking the ball, along with USA, who are trying to get the ball into a net, but there’s a bloke trying to stop them. Occasionally. Why don’t they let the guy in the yellow shirt have a kick? He must feel so left out.

More half time shite Oh god, I’ve just saw that 3D telly advert, and now I feel nauseous. What an awful thing to show.

Half time shite I do like that “Waving Flag” song on the Coke advert. I first heard it thanks to someone singing it to me during a hoaxcall several months ago. Wait. I’ve just remembered. When I was tidying under my desk, I found a cigarette lighter from a car. I don’t smoke, and I don’t have a car. Wo where has it came from?

44:16 Almost half time. Thank god. Maybe ITV will get their act together.

39:56 Goalie drops an absolute clanger. ITV show this one, but not in HD.

38:06 This is what happened for those who didn’t see… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6YHr7jZsxg – I’m still pretty annoyed by this!

22:36 I’ve lost interest in the match, unstead laughing at some of the stuff posted on twitter about this almighty fuckup… I like this:- http://twitpic.com/1w7ynk

10:58 “Hope you all caught the start!”, says the commentator. Yes, I did see the start, but because of your company’s fuckup, I didn’t see the pissing goal.

08:36 Peter Dickson, voice of everything telly, also missed the goal. I love Twitter.

03:00 I do not fucking believe it. I’m annoyed. England have score, and guess what, I didn’t see it. Some fucking idiot at ITV pressed the “advert” button just after the throw in. It plays the stupid fucking sponsor advert, black-screens for 5 seconds, and by the time it goes back, the goal’s gone in. I hate you ITV.

01:01 Well, as mentioned, I’m in on my own watching this. Not that I’m bothered, because the fly on my jeans has just broken….

Some blokes are kicking a ball around a bit.

I tried to think of a wittier title, I really did. Unfortunately, my laptop’s been giving me connection issues for the past half an hour or so, so I’m rushing this.

Unfortunately, all plans I had to go and see the match have collapsed around my ears, so I’m sat in the front room watching it with only two hairy canines for company. Anyway. I’ll no doubt give a rundown of the match…

Since when did darts on telly become a shit version of Twitter? It seems as if most of the audience go and “watch” the darts simply to wave stupid pieces of paper with “hilarious” messages and badly drawn illustrations in front of the camera, to get their cryptic message on the telly. Unfortunately, as tonight’s tournament is being broadcast on ITV4, it’s likely to only reach an audience of 37, before they all end up in a bin bag This seems a little bit of a waste, so I shall increase that viewing figure to at least 39.

“HEXHAM M.A.G.S ON TOUR + ERIC + LIL” (Whoever wrote this must have aching arms, as they held it up for most of the night)

“HI EVE” (written on a paper plate)

“UP THE PHILLI I.P.F RED LION WHO ARE YOU?”

Some guy i constantly holding uo a sign with “PETE” written on it, and an arrow pointing down to PETE.

“LESTERS YOU OWE ME BEER”

“REAGN” (Could this be Regan spelled badly?)

“SHABBA”. How very 1994.

“HELLO MRS KINIEVEL” (Wonder if her first name is Fu?)

“MORE BLING THAN BOBBY GEORGE”

“KAREN FEED THE CATS”

“HELLO WOODHORN I LOVE IAN COOK ALWAYS AND FOREVER”. (I can’t read the rest of this one because it’s upside down)

“HOPE YOUR ASLEEP MIKEY & BAILEY” (I am aware of the you’re / your error in their writing)

“WILL THERE BE A POWER CUT OR DOES PHIL HAVE THE POWER?”

“IM THE ONLY SOBER 1 HERE!” (Seems like someone could do with a lesson from Bob The Angry Flower)

“LOVE CONTRACT”

“MOUSE AND BAZZA FEEL THE POWER” (Oh, I don’t know where to start with that one)

“IM WITH JESUS”

“HELLO UNCLE BILL” (Hello from me too!)

“GAYNOR” (written on what looks like a napkin – the stocks of cards must be running lowl)

“SOLAR POWER” (complete with a news article of someone catching a large fish… er, righto. This appeared before Phil Taylor lost in the Semi Final, obviously)

“HELLO KATE + JP” (The fudge? Someone knows I’m watching? Hello! I don’t know who Kate is, by the way)

“PROPER DARTS CORPORATION” (No, dear. The P in PDC stands for “Professional”)

“LOVEMAN N.D.F NO 1 ! !” (Note the exclamation marks on this one were huge. Maybe the writer just liked the smell of the marker pen)

“WE’VE FINISHED WORK AT LAST!” (Golly, I’m so proud of you.)

Someone also flashed their tits at the camera. I love you, realtime-pause on Sky+. (EDIT: Someone searched for “paul nicholson darts supporter big tits” on Google and reached this site. This is the proudest moment of my life.

“PLATEFACE” (Hahahahaha!)

“WELL DONE VIPPA” (I prefer my Vippa medium-rare.)

“MARKO THE BEST STAGE MANAGER IN THE WORLD!” (This guy’s been holding this thing all night, but was always too far away from the camera to be legible. For some reason, the cameraman thought it deserved a closeup. I’m a little disappointed, if I’m honest. Dale, Kezia says hi.)

“I LOVE YOU GREAT MATE” (Someone’s pissed?)

“FOR SALE SET OF 3 DARTS, HARDLY USED, 1 CAREFUL OWNER, CONTACT…. PHIL….”

“180″. (Something which I haven’t mentioned is that the cards have a blank area on one side, and a printed “180″ on another, with the sponsors name on, meaning that if a player scores a 180, the sponsors get a load of free advertising when the masses wave it in front of the camera. For some reason, someone decided to scrawl 180 on the blank side, whichmeans they either weren’t aware of the afore-mentioned pre-printed 180, or they didn’t like the sponsor. Or it’s one of the few who really, really couldn’t think of an inane message to scribble).

“140″ (Oh… clever!)

“LET THE DOGS OUT MATT AND STOP PLAYING POOL” (If he’s playing pool, how can he be watching the darts?)

“PHIL MY BOL FOR TEAM LEADER!” (You just know that guy is one of the people who, at a night out such as the darts, will sit there and just talk about work.)

“THERE’S A NASTY SMELL OF “GIT” IN THE VACINATY”. (You should have to pass a spell test before they give you these cards…)

“I’M NOT ILL! SORRY! I LIED!” (And you broadcast this to the nation? On ITV4? Don’t worry, your job’s safe.)

“HELLO MANSFIELD”

“HI DARLING LYN WONT BE HOME 4 DINNER. P.S DONT GIVE TO POPPY” (Wonder if there’s a reward for the safe return of missing apostrophes…)

“GOLF SALE <—-” (Well, someone had to do it!)

“RON JEREMY FAN CLUB”

“I [HEART] TARDS” (How very mature…)

“LESTER CAN YOU PLEASE PICK UP DAD HE’S PI**ED” (I hope Lester gets the message.)

There were probably loads more, but these are the only ones I could be arsed to type. Paul Nicholson won in the end.

Remember I was taking about playing darts and the nifty little spreadsheet I knocked up to record my scores? Thanks to the wonderment of Google Docs, you can see this document online…

linkypoo

Fascinating stuff, I’m sure you won’t agree.

EDIT: Seems you need to sign into Google to see it, even though I ticked the “no sign-in required” box. Sassen fassen rassen.

EDIT THE 2ND. Well, I’ve outgrown Google Docs already, filling the spreadsheet to its limit. Therefore, I bring you the “Open Office” version…

http://www.scribcam.co.uk/Darts.ods