10 points for those who know that the line following that is “I’ve just had it stuffed”. The reason why I’m quoting ‘The Naked Gun’ is that one of my favourite comedy actors, Leslie Nielsen, has died.

Linky

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to watch all of the episodes of “Police Squad” back to back. IN COLOR!

It seems ages since I’ve done a proper update. Well, actually it doesn’t, as I’ve had writers’ block for several weeks now. I’ve written several drafts, got distracted halfway through, then disappeared somewhere else, or done something else. That’s not very good of me.

So, because of this, blogging has been on the back burner for a while. I must admit, the past few weeks have been hectic as hell. Some of you may remember over the last couple of years (well, since about 1998), I have been complaining about the heating system in Mercuryvapour Towers, and the fact that it’s been completely knackered for about 10 years. Over the least couple of years, I worked out that if you don’t run the hot tap, the heating will kick in after a couple of hours, with its distinctive “chink….. whoooof” noise, and all will be well until someone runs the hot tap. The house will then be plunged into the murky depths of coldness, and if we had a winter like we did last year, that clearly isn’t a good thing. There was only one thing for it. Invest in a new boiler, and invest we did!

Boiler has arrived, early. I’m either going to end up in hospital or prison 8:04 AM Sep 28th via Twitter for Android

I know that most people probably got sick to death of my incessant tweetings about the status of the boiler, but this was a big step. It was certainly something I was dreading. When the original boiler was installed back in 1994, the house was in uproar for about a week. I think every floorboard got lifted. I expected something similar. It wasn’t as bad this time, in fact, we even got the “blue carpet” treatment for a couple of days…

I expected having to completely dismantle everything in this room, as the old water filter is in my cupboard. The “crystals” in it haven’t been changed since it was fitted, so according to the plumber (whose name I can’t remember, but he had an apprentice called Lee), it was no surprise the old boiler packed up.

Thankfully, they didn’t need to get access to it, so I was safe. In fact, they only entered my room once….

There are strange people in my room. THERE ARE STRANGE PEOPLE IN M…. oh, he’s only bleeding the radiator. 29 September 2010 12:31:09 via web

I will never know if ‘Lee’ saw what I was typing. He was a bit shy, and if he had to ask the main guy a question, he referred to us as ‘The Customer’. I felt sorry for him in a way, obviously having to follow the rules to the letter. I felt like saying to him “Please! You can call me ‘His Royal Highness”, but I didn’t. My room must have been a whole new experience to him. Clean(ish) floor, yet a bed that had clearly not been slept in for days, as it was piled up like Steptoe’s yard. Either way, a day and a half after it started, the blue carpet was lifted, we were left with a terminally scarred bathroom floor, but most importantly…

It’s all over. We have heat! 29 September 2010 15:59:39 via txt

I clearly can’t decide on the best way to tweet, but yes, everything is warm and cosy here now. Unfortunately, I’ve left it a little too late to book a place at university to study the timer controls, so I’m making to with “off” and “on” at the moment. It does, however, mean a trip through the long dusty corridors of Mercuryvapour Towers each time I get too warm, but that’s a small price to pay.

In other news, I’ve bought a CD. No, really. I’ve invested in a dying format. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, I’d watched *that* episode of Eastenders where Peggy Mitchell “walked away”. Yes, I googled “Peggy’s Theme”. Yes, the result ended up with me buying “The Simon May Collection: Eastenders and Other Themes”. Yes, the arrival of the afore mentioned CD caused the postie to ring the doorbell, while I tried to gather some digtnity (in other words, underpants), while I went downstairs to collect the parcel. Except that the “parcel” fitted through the letterbox. Yes, I ended up stood on the doorstep, with hair half-past Wednesday, with the postie shouting “Oh, it fitted through your letterbox”. Of course it did. It was a CD.

Therefore: I was the proud owner of…

I intended to do a full review of the CD, in fact, most of the drafts I wrote centred around this particular purchase, and my attempts to review every track. It’s simply not possible, as it’s got to be the biggest hit ‘n’ miss CD I’ve ever purchased. The ultimate track, which I didn’t even know was on the CD, is “Barracuda”. You won’t recognise it by the name, but it’s the jazzy, synthed up end theme to “Howards Way”… linky here for those who missed my facebook jizzfest over my discovery of the afore mentioned theme. That alone is worth the £6.99 I paid. The ultimate downside to the entire CD is track 22, named “Glory Be To God On High”. When you realise that all of the lyrics are sung to the Eastenders theme tune, and sung by a bunch of kids, it equates to the most painful 3 minutes and 18 seconds known to mankind. If you’re after a song constructed around the Eastenders theme, however, you do get Anita Dobson’s “Anyone Can Fall In Love” as track 17, and in a rare move of theme-tune availablility, the 2009-present version of the Eastenders theme is included, though there’s no “extra” bits in this version, it’s literally just the theme, clocking in at a measly 1:10 in length. The other versions have been at least a little different from the ones used in the programme.

As I approach the sacred 1000-word mark, I’ll have to turn my attention to work. It’s been busy, and I can only assume it’s only going to get busier. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m enjoying it being busy.

Oh yes, I’ve also got a new phone, if you couldn’t work that out by the last post. It’s also less than a month to this blog’s 10th birthday. To add to my ever growing of dead celebrity obituaries, Norman Wisdom left the station yesterday. A shame, but at 95, “bloody good innings”, etc.

Oh, I’ve not done one of these for a while. It just so happened to coincide with my latest “digital music” purchase in a way that simply hasn’t happened before. Did any of you watch that “Unforgettable Jeremy Beadle” thing that was on ITV tonight? No? Anyone find it odd that the obituary programme was shown at roughly the same time slot as many of his programmes? No again? Well, I’m going to continue anyway.

Chris was round tonight, so a night of vegetation in front of the telly was in order. The afore mentioned programme sparked enough interest in the room to warrant its watching. On the other hand (ho ho), there wasn’t much else on.

It was a thoroughly enjoyable look back at the man’s life, with clips from shows I didn’t even think existed anymore. The end theme, however, made me shout of with amazement.

Let me take you back to 1992, 1993ish. My record collection was still at a minimal level. Few singles, fewer albums. This was boosted by an old relative clearing out her cupboards, and a stack of mainly uninteresting LPs were given to me. Out of all of the albums played, two tracks stood out. One of them featured on a scratchy old Telstar compilation album named “More Green Velvet”, and was entitled “The Lonesome Boatman” by The Fureys + Davey Arthur. It was a short, flutey, instrumental with a great guitar track and very 80s sounding seagull samples.

Now, thanks to the tinternet, I was able to find many different recordings of this, but not the one featured on the More Green Velvet album. The online stores only stocked the same CDs which had a different version. Even Spotify didn’t have it. Thankfully, I managed to find a version of it on youtube. It was longer than my vinyl version, though it would appear that the disc it came from was long out of print, and therefore went for an absolute fortune on ebay. Sigh. This was the only time I’d heard it coming from a source other than my own record collection.

Years pass, and on Friday, I’m awoken with the tune in my head, and the realisation I’d not tried any of the digital download sites. Within minutes, I was 69p lighter, and downloading “The Lonesome Boatman” My long search was over! In fact, I tweeted about it…

Finally got a digital version of “The Lonesome Boatman” by The Fureys for 69p… had it on vinyl, given to me by a long dead relative. 11:45 AM Aug 13th via web

All was not right, however, when I played it through headphones for the first time…

Ugh. Disregard my earlier “Lonesome Boatman” tweet. Awful analogue tape damage on this version all the way through. 69p wasted. Grrrrr. 1:48 AM Aug 14th via web

If you’re listening through speakers, it’s not too bad, but on headphones, the right channel is terrible! This version is taken from a “greatest hits”, so I’m hoping for a better version out there somewhere.

Er, anyway, back to the telly theme link…. two days after purchasing it, the very same version was used as the closing credits for the Jeremy Beadle thing. I find it really a bit spooky and coincidental that I would buy this tune almost immediately after waking up thinking about it, and two days later, for the first time in ~18 years, actually hear it broadcast on TV. It’s just weird, and a little too concidental.

Oh, and, to end this posting with yet another “death” announcement, according to the UKGameshows mailing list, Jack Parnell, one of the two composers of the original “Family Fortunes” theme (Bob Monkhouse / Max Bygraves era), has died. The other composer, Dave Lindup, died in 1992. Lindup’s son, Mark, is the keyboard player from Level 42.

I know I’m late, I apologise. I’ve been at work, and have managed to find a few minutes free to talk about Joffa Smifff, one of my favourite ZX Spectrum programmers who sadly died over the weekend. One of his first projects, if not his very first, was “Pud Pud in Weird World” (normally shortened to “Pud Pud”). This was one of my favourite Spectrum games, mainly thanks to its theme of “In The Mood” reproduced on the Spectrum’s beeper, and the fact that the game would change the octave of every loop of the music, and also flash the border random colours. It didn’t seem much, but as a child, I loved it. And, I’m sure, if I had a Spectrum emulator installed on here, I’d be playing it right now.

Joffa also had a flickr account which I didn’t know until right now.

Sad news. Ray Alan (appearently not Ray Allen, which is how I always thought it was spelt), mildly amusing 80s ventriloquist act has died.

Lord Charles is speechless…