That sounds healthy. If the site disappears off the face of the interweb, you’ll know why.

They day is Tuesday, November 09th, 2010. I’m sat in the pub, celebrating the win of £15 on the pub’s version of “Play Your Cards Right”. I feel my phone vibrating, as if to say I’ve received an email. Indeed, I had. It was informing me that one of the websites I host on my home connection had gone offline. Oh well, shit happens, and I continue to pour my winnings down my neck. I’d sort it when I get home.

Later on in the evening, I get a lift home from Chris’s dad, and I notice one of the cable companies’ vans attending to one of the boxes a few streets from Mercuryvapour Towers. Well, that was the problem, and surely the interwebs shall start flowing like beer from a keg. Several hours later, and still no internet, I hit the sack, expecting everything to be rectified in the morning.

I awake, and inspect the modem’s diagnostic lights. Still nothing. Still dead. Daddykins had to go out on Wednesday morning to run an errand. He phoned me to inform me that there were 4 vans around the box where our connection fed into. It did seem a bit odd to have that many vans attending to what I thought was a simple fault with the box. I don some clothes, and head off to the shops. This was also so I could have a quick look at what was going on. I walked past, and noticed that the workmen had removed the entire guts of the cabinet At this point, I didn’t actually know the reason why they removed it.

Later on in the afternoon, I went out to grab the local paper, and also to attempt to get a photo of the affected cabinet.

At this point, I didn’t actually know what had happened. It wasn’t until I got back inside and took a closer look at the photo that I noticed something… the privet around the top of the cabinet was burnt…

It turned out that the issue was caused by a catastrophic failure in the cabinet’s electrics that caused it to burst into flames. Unfortunately, the particular cabinet was out of range of the windowcam, though you do see the fence over the road reflecting some of the fire’s light, a load of smoke, and a fire engine attend the scene some 6 minutes later. I’d do a timelapse, but I can’t be arsed.

If it wasn’t for my mobile, there is a very strong chance I could have went insane.

All it’s done for the past 12 hours is sit at the end of the bed, flashing its lights and taking the piss.

Sigh.

UPDATE: Internet is still off. The reason is that the junction box near to Mercuryvapour Towers burst into flames…

UPDATE THE SECOND: The internet downtime has now eaten into the 2nd day. We are also still without a house phone.

UPDATE THE THIRD: This lack of internet thing rumbles on. It’s been over 48 hours. No internet, and no phone. Oddly, I never, ever use the house phone, but am feeling uneasy at the fact it’s not there. It’s nice to be not disturbed by cold callers.

The engineers have been there for two days, with no resolution. Grrrr.

UPDATE THE FOURTH: Rather a pointless update this one if you’ve read the above post, but I had internet access again after 68 long smut-free hours.

A few days ago, this indeed happened, but it was over the other side of the town, and I didn’t find out about it until it was much too late. Thankfully, Andy the Iridium Fan caught what just happened to be my favourite image of everything ever…

Unfortunately, as quickly as it came into my life, and filled it full of wonderment, it exited, and has already left a gaping hole. I was taking some random photos earlier, mainly of a delicious curry I’d made, complete with incredibly undercooked chillies, when the batteries ran out. “Gah”, I thought as the lens retracted, and the power went off.

I slapped it in my trouser pocket, and proceeded to take the charger upstairs with me. As I bent over, to plug it in, I heard a shuddering crack. Knowing that there was only one thing my pocket, except for my keys, I knew something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

And, indeed it had. My faithful little Acer, had, for some reason, switched itself back on and the lens had fully extended while in my pocket. I’d say that I’d accidentally switched it on with my massive penis, but these jeans are quite thick and the “on” button is quite small, meaning that any accidental button pushing with my enormous phallus is highly unlikely.

I removed it from my pocket to find the lens jammed in partially, After switching it off and back on, the lens motor sounded particularly unhealthy, and the lens got stuck halfway. I was presented with a “lens error”, and the camera switched itself off.

I’ve enjoyed using it, and have put it through probably more than it was designed for. The case is scratched to hell and back. The lens cover itself would occasionally get stuck when opening, The screen’s cracked, and there’s dirt on the sensor, as shown here…

The dirt is that little dark patch on the left, in case you didn’t know, or are thick. As can be seen in that photo, however, is that even after that amount of time, it still takes a good picture.

The batteries are on charge, so hopefully after a small amount of charge, it’ll be good to go again. It’ll be a sad day when it finally enters that little bit of drawer space in the sky.

Whilst I was looking for a way to lessen the noise, I moved the wires around the CPU fan, even though I know they had nothing to do with it, and managed to catch my finger in the CPU fan, shearing one of the blades on the fan, and leaving my finger with a nasty red blotch on the tip.

This means that the fan no longer works, and therefore Beastbits is out of action for now. And I have a poorly finger to attend to.

It’s clearly not the first time this has happened, as you can probably tell by my constant whinging over the past few posts. I really hope that 34sp get to the bottom of this.

In other news, the weekend has been an entire write-off! I’ve done absolutely nothing, and most of the time has been sat in front of my shiny new keyboard typing bletherings over the internet. I shall let this continue, and also give a little bit of an update on my hard drive situation. I still don’t have a solution to this.

You may remember my update to the original post. Basically, I ruled out the drive as being faulty by connecting it via a USB2 adaptor. It worked fine. that was on Vista.

Now, the machine I wanted to connect it to (my “media” server) is running Windows 2000. Not much of a problem. Especially when I connected it and got the “Your hardware is connected and ready to use” message. Fair enough. I entered “My Computer”… Hmmm, no drive appeared. A bit strange. I knew it was formatted (that fucker took 12 hours) and that the USB adaptor wasn’t faulty.

Right clicked “My computer > Manage > Disk Management”. It didn’t see the drive either. What the fudge?

I entered Device Manager, and noticed that instead of saying the model of drive that was connected, it simply gave me “USB Hard Drive”. No model number, or anything of use. Aaaargh.

I was spitting blood at this point. Predictably, the SATA > USB unit came with a tiny driver CD. This didn’t help, as the driver disk included only had drivers for Windows 98SE. No drivers for Windows 2000! The drive is still completely useless to me.

I have one last ace up my sleeve before I invest in a PCI SATA card. I’ll know by this time tomorrow if my hair-brained solution has worked. The PCI SATA idea has taken a set-back, however, as it appears you can’t get SATA 300 PCI cards, only PCI-Express, which none of my systems have.

I really don’t need another external 1Tb drive, but that looks like what I’ll have if this doesn’t work.

Whilst at work a few days ago, I decided that my little MP3 server at home could do with a bit of a boost. It’s currently running 2 IDE drives, 1 60Gb IBM Deathstar, and a 200Gb Maxtor. The 200Gb drive is completely chock full of stuff, and the Deathstar is ancient and noisy, I really didn’t fancy putting anything on it that I could risk losing.

Off I toddled to my normal place of computer hardware purchasement, Ebuyer. I noticed that they had a Samsung 1Tb drive for sale. A Spinpoint HD103UJ, should you care.

Now, I’ve had “trouble” with Samsung drives in the past. My first 500Gb drive was a Samsung, and it began to show signs of dying within 3 months, though this technically may not have been the drive’s fault. This 500Gb still serves a purpose, however. its magnets are now used to keep the oven door closed since the handle snapped off it.

I ordered the drive, after deciding to give Samsung another chance, along with a few other things… another keyboard, which I intend to use at work, and a SATA/IDE to USB adaptor.

Despite the fact I paid nothing for the “super-saver” delivery, it was delivered within 36 hours of me placing the order. The doorbell rang, and I hurriedly rushed downstairs, met the UPS guy with a grin from ear to ear, ran back upstairs clutching the afore-mentioned parcel, and ripped it open like a kid on Christmas day.

I’d just finished nights, and the drive was cold, so to avoid any possible condensation damage, I decided to leave fitting the drive until I’d had some sleep.

I awoke at roughly 6PM, looking forward to the procedure of opening the machine, taking the old 200Gb drive out, connecting the new 1Tb one, then connecting the old drive via USB, copying the data over, ghosting the 60Gb system drive, writing the image to the 200Gb drive, making the 60Gb redundant.

It all sounds so very seemples (squeak).

Firstly, i disconnected Beastbits so I could use the power cables and the monitor so I could actually see what I was doing. I took out the old drive, fitted the new one via SATA, and powered on the machine. The SATA detection screen came up…

“No devices found”.

Confused, I checked my connections, and sure enough, I’d not connected the power cable to one of the molex connectors. Bohh, fucking idiot.

In it goes, reboot, aaaaand, yes, “No devices found”.

This was the shit that I’ve always dreaded. It means that the drive is a SATA 3.0Gbps, and my motherboard is a SATA 1.5Gbps. According to the scrappy little pice of paper you get with the drive, “you should switch your drive to SATA 1.5Gb/s speed with a software which we are providing via www.samsunghdd.com”

Um, OK. I couldn’t see how a piece of software could possibly help if the hardware can’t actually see and detect the drive. I played along, and found the appropriate software on the Samsung website. It came as an ISO image. And, the only machine capable of writing ISOs in the whole of Mercuryvapour Towers is Beastbits, which was sat on the floor, totally disconnected.

Almost in tears, I swapped the computers back, and burned the ISO to a DVD, and swapped them back again. Lo and behold, the Samsung software totally failed to recognise the drive, so it was impossible to change the settings.

Now, I’m not disfamiliar with the whole “SATA 1.5/3.0″ issue, and I know that all of my other drives have a jumper you can change to allow it to work. This particular drive does indeed have a set of jumpers on the back…

Unfortunately, these are undocumented. Nothing on the label of the drive, nothing in the shitty little scrap of paper you receive.

I spent the next 20 minutes looking for a hard drive with the jumpers still attached to it, so I could use one of these. Turns out both jumpers do absolutely nothing to rectify the issue, and the drive still remained undetected.

OK, fair enough, I couldn’t do anything with that computer. It was a lost cause, so I thought I’d try and connect it to Beastbits to see if I can get it to detect. Success! Er, sort of. It would get as far as the SATA detection screen, and it would hang.

Note how the first drive has the size printed next to it, but the Samsung drive doesn’t? Yes, that’s because there’s a known issue with the SATA controller on my motherboard with drives over a certain size! JOY! It’s well documented here.

Seems like the only solution is to get a SATA controller card and hope for the best. and there wasn’t as much ranting as I’d originally planned. But for now, I have a 1,000Gb paperweight. Tits.

I reported the issue on the webhost’s support forum, but unfortunately, nothing happened for approximately 4 hours, and the site was left in a state of limbo, until someone from 34SP spotted the problem and rebooted the server…

Thankfully, this type of thing doesn’t happen too often, and it’s the first downtime I’ve noticed since my switch to the new server a few months ago, and to be fair to the hosts, this type of downtime should have been brought to their attention, and they’re looking into why it didn’t occur.

Sadly, this website feckup also occured with yet more flickr downtime, and as one of my forum haunts ObscureInternet is hosted on the same server as this site, it also suffered the same downtime as I did, which means that my entire nightshift was wasted actually doing work. Oh, OK, I only posted that last sentence to see if the “facebook grass” has spread onto personal websites yet!

Now, if you don’t mind me, I’ve got some Roger Whittaker to listen to.

Beastbits, has once again been experiencing pains due to its elderly nature. I’ve said many times now, that the poor bugger is getting on in years, and is no longer the powerhouse it once was. Many parts have been replaced or rejigged, and every time I look at it, I feel a little twinge of sadness as I know it is moving ever closer to the big wheelie bin in the sky.

Yet another problem has been occuring over the past few days, with random shutoffs due to what was possibly heat. The room the machine resides in, isn’t the coolest room in the house, so I put those shutoffs due to it not having adequate cooling. I would touch the CPU’s heatsink to see if I could find any major heat source, but it felt “normal”.

I would also occasionally receive a waft of warm air from the machine, sometimes co-inciding with a smell of cooking silicon. The CPU fan was OK, and the graphics card fan… well, that was OK because it’s not made the grinding noise it normally makes when it needs a clean.

I was sat here a while ago, and got a faint whiff or warm dust. You know, that smell you get when you switch on a gas fire after it’s not been used for a while.

Something was definitely cooking. The CPU fan was OK. I checked the graphics card fan, aaaand promptly burned my finger on the heatsink. Yep, it turns out that the fan was “stuck”. Upon closer inspection, it turned out that one of the power wires for the fan had become detached. from the plug. What a bugger.

I have no way of telling how long it was like this for, but it remains to be seen if this fixes the powering off issues.

In other news, since I’m logged in and typing for once, Chad, my number 1 troll is back in Hartlepool, but thanks to my work commitments and his travel plans, it is very unlikely that we’ll get a chance to meet up again. Hope something can be worked out though.

EDIT: Nope, Bestbits’ problem still remains, still powering off, right when I was in the middle of something I really didn’t want to do anyway. Amazingly it still works after I punched it, watched it slide across the desk before falling over. I’m getting really, really fucking sick of it.

Yes, it’s a Thurday, and our bins still remain unemptied, at the time of typing. It’s almost 9AM. Tsk. What do I pay my council taxes for?

Anyway, back onto the subject in hand, the subject of this post…

“Keyboard is locked – unlock the key”

I booted up Beastbits this morning and got this error message…

After marvelling at the specifications of Beastbits, you may notice the error message at the bottom of the screen. It’s a bit cryptic. I have no idea why it would mention a key lock, when I’ve not seen one of those on a PC this millennium. No idea how or why it cropped up, as I rebooted, and everything was fine.

I think it’s just another little message reminding me that Beastbits is ready for the scrapheap, or at least a retirement acting as some type of pointless server.

the error message is entirely incorrect, however. Surely, it should say “Unlock the lock”. I have found it physically impossible in my time on this planet to actually lock a key. Maybe the BIOS writers just want to confuse as many people as possible.

Oh, and the binmen turned up approximately 4 minutes into typing this post. But now I can’t be arsed to get dressed and get the bin in, considering I’m currently entirely naked except for my glasses and socks.

And on that note….

Following on from the earlier post today, I have returned back from the flea market, with plenty of records and CDs. Unfortunately, it is a bittersweet moment.

My first stop was to buy some singles from a stall I’d previously visited several weeks ago, and picked up a shit-load of really good singles (or, as most other people who know my music taste would put it, a good load of really shit singles). I was hoping that this time I’d be able to repeat this.

Indeed, he had a couple of boxes of singles on display. Some older ones, which appeared in good condition. Hurrah!

I’d picked up 8 for the measly sum of £2, and headed off in the general direction of Eric’s stall. Whilst flipping through the CDs, some stranger asks me a question, after noticing the wad of singles in my hand…

“Did you get those from that stall over there?”, he says, pointing in the direction of the stall over yonder…
I answered affirmatively.
“Oh, because when I looked at them, every single one had a great big gouge in them…”
My heart sank.
“Oh, well there ones ‘looked’ OK”, I replied, whilst contemplating the fact that I could very well have 8 pieces of completely worthless plastic in my grubby little mitts.

I purchased a couple of CDs from Eric’s stall. For those who care, they were “Set The Mood” by David Jordan, “Unplugged” by The Corrs, and “Purple Rain” by Prince.

At this point, I went to check my vinyl. Indeed, my vinyl was ruined. In fact, this one was so deeply sctarched that it actually cracked the record…

So, I’m a bit gutted at the minute. Every single one had some type of purposely made scratch. I’m more gutted at the fact that someone purposely destroyed a whole collection of records for no logical reason. I could have taken them back, but for £2, it wasn’t worth the hassle, and I probably should have looked a bit more clearly than what I did.

Every cloud has a silver lining, however, and I suppose I could use the sleeves (which, were all, except one, generic or company sleeves) to replace some of the more “crumbling” sleeves which house some of my records.

So, with that disappointment confirmed, I headed off to what looked like a new stall. Some guy who I hadn’t seen there before had several large boxes of CDs. Now, on initial inspection, the CDs were garbage. Hundreds of worthless CD-ROMs. My favourite had to be the “interactive guide to weeding”. However, underneath the crust were some actual music CDs, and some good ones at that.

Now, you may remember, that back in September last year, I mentioned that if I was ever listening to a song on my phone (which I do every time I’m at the flea market), and it appeared in the collection of records / CDs I was browsing at the time, then I’d buy it. In fact, that was an almost exact copy and paste from that posting).

This time, I just happened to be listening to “You Got It” by Roy Orbison. One of the first CDs I picked up just happened to have this track on it. The album was “Smash Hits Party ’89″. It suddenly occured to me that I actually have this album on cassette. It was given to me by Narbi Price when we were mere children. I still have those tapes, though no longer have any method of playing them, so it was nice to be able to upgrade them to a format I can still play.

Also “upgraded” was my copy of “Chorus” by Erasure. A song that will always remind me of our annual holidays to Sandy Bay, a little caravan site just south of Newbiggin-By-The-Sea. Chad used to call it “Sandroid Bay”. Overall I paid £3 for 9 CDs, and I even managed to sneak a Michael Bolton one in there, because I do, unfortunately like one of his songs. ONE of his songs. Just one. Uno. Ein. I hope I can’t make that any more clearer. Well, OK, I like two of them, but that’s as far as I’m going.

Moving on very swiftly, before I admit to liking three Michael Bolton songs, I’ll just recap on something I talked about the other day. Sunburn. Yes, after last Wednesday’s day out, I ended up with severe sunburn, which caused much amusement “in the office”. Unfortunatelt, it did leave me looking like some type of alien creature for a few days this week…

The satisfaction of being able to peel great big chunks of skin from my forehead has thankfully allowed me to look a little more human. Now, I have to get a few hours sleep before I return to hell…

The latter example cost me a keyboard.