Well, I have been summonsed by Glen Adrian of Obscureinternet (change your avatar, ffs!) to write a detailed review of my 30th birthday. I’ll start from the day, because it was a much better and more exciting day, for you see, I went bowling!

The first part of the day was spent watching stuff that had been collected on the Sky+. this involved several episodes of Countdown. Unfortunately, there wasn’t going to be a lot happening in the early part of this particular day, as the car was in the garage after it snapped a spring or something, thanks to the state of one of the local roads.

Onto the night, then. Plans had been made with most of the people from work to attend the bowling alley on Brenda Road. It was the first time I’d been bowling since November 2005

I arrived at approximately 7:30, to find that the place was absolutely packed, but I was the only one there out of the proposed group. Oh, great. Things start going through my mind, like “Am I on my own? Is anyone else turning up?” I decided to wait outside, just in case anyone was going to ring my mobile. It was noisy inside.

Thankfully, the cars did indeed start pulling up, and before long, we had a group of about 16 of us. Unfortunately, Tuesday is apparently semi-pro night, so we had to wait until about 9 before we got a game. The price was £3 for the hour. It closed at 10, so we’d just got in. It was at this point, I began to fling my camera around in the hope to catch some epic shots. Unfortunately, this failed miserably, though I did think Matt got a good strike here:-

Unfortunately after I got home and checked the video, he hit the rail first. So technically, it didn’t count.

I finished last, as you can probably gather, though I did manage a strike. I might have to start going there, if I can find someone to go along with. there’s no point playing on your own.

After the bowling, we made our way to Lloyds, in Church Square. And yes, I really did wear this shirt…

Some random barfly stated that I looked like Timmy Mallet. Out of all the times I’ve worn that shirt, it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to a compliment. Unfortunatelty, there’s a button fallen off it, so that’ll give me an excuse to never, ever wear it in public again. Awww.

After sharing a jug of some odd drink bought by Matt (possibly to celebrate his non-strike), it was time for everyone to begin departing. Some people had work in the morning, and some people wanted to attend the Indian. Guess which category I fell into.

So, the initial group of 16 had dwindled down to 4, and we headed off to the Dilshad for a load of grub.

As usual, the meal was delicious, and just as we were finishing, the clock struck midnight. Yup, I was now 30 years old. Daddykins sent me a text.

The second person to wish me happy birthday was Wayne, at an impressive 2 minutes past midnight, though obviously I didn’t get it until I got home. His email made me quickly realise how much of my life had disappeared…

“You are now twice as old as you were when we had our first talk on CB”.

He was right. The CB days were now half my life ago!

The 4 of us finished our meals, and headed off home in our respective taxis, and a good night was had by all. Well, certainly by me, at least, and I made my way up the long, winding gravel driveway of Mercuryvapour Towers at 1:13.

And now, onto the day itself. It started off early, around 5AM. This was mainly because I could feel the vindaloo on the move, and it was only a matter of time before it was indaloo (actually, alloverdaloo would be a better description). So, I was wide awake after only 4 hours sleep, and with an arse like the flag of Japan. I logged onto Facebook, and watched the happy birthday messages scroll past. Thanks to all of you who left a message, and for those who tried to talk to me, Facebook Chat is being a tart at the moment, and although I can see who sent me a message, I can’t actually see it. I’ve gone back to an earlier release of Firefox. That might help it.

Anyway, the morning consisted of my usual “Woo! I’m off work!” ritual – lie on the sofa and watch “Homes Under The Hammer”, followed by “to Buy or Not To Buy”, then “Cash In The Attic” (as long as Jenny Sodding Bond isn’t presenting it), followed by “Bargain Hunt”. Andy The Iridium Fan popped round during the preceedings, and dropped off my birthday card. He stayed for a few hours, and was amazed to find that he also liked amplifying the ends of songs just to get every last note out of them. An “interest” of mine which I thought nobody else shared. A bit like streetlights. He also helped me dispose of the large boxes that Beastbits2 had came in.

ATIF stayed for 3 hours, 22 minutes and 45 seconds, and after that I began watching some more stuff that had accumulated on the Sky+. I was absolutely knackered, as I’d only managed a couple of hours sleep, and decided to go to bed “for an hour”. This was at 4PM. Next thing I know, it’s 10PM. I must have been more knackered than I thought. The day was finished off with the obligatory “few cans”, and I headed off to bed some time around 4ish.

So, that was the story of my first full day of being into my 4th decade. Not bad going considering I wasn’t actually going to blog about it. And now, I’m off to take photos of a pothole, or I might wait until the chippy is open, and kill two birds with one stone. Pothole photography and chips. Being 30 is AWESOME.

The photos from last night’s antics are here. You may have seen these on Facebook.

Unofrutnately, there is no video evidence to say that I got a strike. But I did.

Well, as you can see, the “Before I’m 30″ page has been removed from the site. this can only been one thing. I’m not 29 anymore. Well, technically, I am, because I wasn’t born until just after 12PM, but yes, today is when I give you all the results of the page that has been plaguing the top of the site since its inception.

1. Pass my driving test

Nope.

2. Get a new job.

Nope.

3. Cut down on drink.

Well, I’m going out a lot less. Mainly because the RAOB is dead to me now.

4. Save money.

Well, I’m going out a lot less. The last few months have been good.

5. Finish projects I’ve started, but never finished.

Well, whatever those projects are, they’re pretty much finished now. I said before that I can’t actually remember what those projects were. I was probably thinking about sorting my MP3s, but I gave up on this and just allowed the MP3 software I use (foobar2000) to take control.

6. Throw some shit out.

Nope, still an untidy hoarder.

7. Lose weight / exercise more.

Yyyyyyyy-nope. Actually, this one was a bit of a false starter because I forgot to weigh myself at the start.

8. Try new foods.

Partial success, but trust me, curried spaghetti just doesn’t work.

9. Find true love.

No comment, though you may notice I’ve been blogging a lot less lately.

10. Bake a loaf of bread

I didn’t even bother getting close to that one.

So, overall, the “Before I’m 30″ thing was an epic, epic failure. I’m not going to do another one of those.

Yes, the day I have dreaded for so long is almost upon us. I shall soon be 30. Maybe it’s just my mind, but I’m already feeling like I’m 30. My left leg’s been giving me jip for the past couple of days. Not much, if I’m honest, but it feels like I’ve pulled my thigh muscle or smething, despite the most exercise I’ve managed in the past week or so is carrying a big bowl of soup from the kitchen and into the living room. Oh, and lifting the spoon to my mouth several times. And ripping up the baguette I dipped into it, but then that really wouldn’t affect my leg muscles.

The following week should be awesome, and I shall blog as much as it for my own historical benefit than anything else

Well, it’s under three months until the fateful day, and with the previous few months being totally shocking, I thought I’d give you an update on how I’m doing with them. OK, that’s a bit of a lie, Chad posted a comment on the previous posting, and although I normally take post post suggestions with a touch of “What do you think I am? A performing seal?”, I realise I’ve not actually updated that part of the site since January. So, in order to kill some time before this morning’s flea market festivities, I thought I’d give both of my readers a quick update on what is happening with it.

So far, being 29 has been positively shit, with major things happening such as my dad’s heart attack (which I shall refer to as “the incident” from now on). Anyway, enough of that, on with the update and you’ll see what I mean. Maybe.

Sooo, in the order they’re posted on the above page…

1. Pass my driving test

I have had this on the back burner for some time now, as there is absolutely no way I could afford to run a car. the price of fuel, tax and insurance keeps going up and up. Not to mention the cost of the lessons. I found out last night just how expensive they’ve become.

However, following the incident, this is something that I am having to seriously consider.

2. Get a new job.

In this economic climate, I’m actually happy I’ve got a job.

3. Cut down on drink

Epic fail.

4. Save money

Thanks to the abandonment of the 2009 holiday, I’ve managed to actually save some money. So, go me.

5. Finish projects I’ve started, but never finished.

As I mentioned on the “Before I’m 30″ page itself, I’m not too sure what I meant by that. I believe I may have been referring to things such as cataloguing records, CDs, and their ultimate conversion to MP3. This is still ongoing. The Paris video is still incomplete, however, thanks to the problems I’ve been having with Beastbits.

6. Throw some shit out.

As of yet, I’ve not been in the situation where I’ve felt like I need a proper clear-out. It’s hard to say what triggers my occasional bouts of life laundry, where a load of personal belongings end up in the wheelie bin, but it just hasn’t happened recently.

Instead of throwing shit out, I’ve actually started to become organised. This can be seen in my record/CD catalogue thing. A few years ago, I would have never dreamt of doing such a thing.

Oh, and I was planning to use the ultimate excuse… “Which recycling box DO you put broken records into?”, as I have a subconscious feeling that the recent (well, several years ago now) switchover to a recycling scheme means that I’m less likely to throw stuff away as I don’t know which bin to put it in without risking a fine.

7. Lose weight / exercise more.

It’s hard to say if I’ve actually lost or gained weight as the batteries in the scales didn’t get put in until August. I’m under 14 stone, however, but I’d like that to go down further. I still walk pretty much everywhere I can.

8. Try new foods.

Thanks to the incident, this is something that does appear to be going quite well, in fact I’d say it’s going the best out of everything so far. Not so much trying new foods, but watching what I consume.

Post-incident worries now see me in Asda, studying the nutrition labels, meaning that my diet contains less shit than it did previously. That can only be good.

9. Find true love

Added as a bit of a joke, obviously. Love life and relationships is something I never post about on here. I made the mistake several years ago, and those who know me in real life know I don’t like to talk about it. Thefore blogging and “other stuff” is completely separate. If it makes me look like a loner, so be it.

10. Bake a loaf of bread

I think this was one of the half-baked (geddit?) ideas I came up with while bored out of my tiny mind at Employment Palace. Trust me, I did consider it shortly after placing the update. Honestly. I even went down the bakery aisle in Asda, a place which was foreign to me and downright scary. I added the price of the flour, yeast, water, baking tin, then thought “Fuck it, I’m off to get a Kingsmill”. Bread is in wide supply, so I have no reason to bake my own. Nine months after adding this to the list, I’ve decided I no longer have the inclination or interest to do this.

So, that’s your update. I’m off to bed.