Get with the times. It’s all about the vlog now

Oho. Here was a mad idea. The camera had been on charge all night. Could I do a vlog? Chris and I had arranged to go somewhere. No idea where. Turns out we ended up in Darlington. As there is literally nothing to film there (except for a 5 second segment of an over enthusiastic Domino’s Pizza seller in a spiderman outfit), most of it is us listening to shit CDs, and why I should never, EVER, be put in control of the music choice.

So, what do YOU want to read….

As you know, it’s been a while since I’ve written a proper blog, so I thought I’d ask on Facebook what subjects you’d like to see me cover. Like performing seals, some of you slapped your flippers over the keyboard and came up with some cracking ideas for me to type about. Some of them more coherent than others. Naaah. I’m only kidding. I liked all of them, and in time honoured tradition, I shall go through and type what I can about each subject.

So, let’s start off with Jamie S’s suggestions…

Your hobbies and interests. Oh wait…

Ho ho. He’s obviously being sarco-ma-tastic there, as I’m constantly discussing my hobbies and interests. For new viewers, the interests are streetlights and collecting music. Or rather, hoarding music. More on that later. Onto Jamie’s 2nd suggestion…

Also, curry king

This was a suggestion we’d banded around between ourselves over the last few months, but I can never see it working. It’s sort of a guide to good curries around Hartlepool and other areas on the north east. To me, a good curry is something that has you doubled over on the toilet at 5AM in the morning, waiting for the intense burning session to stop. I like my curries hot, so really it would have just been a guide on vindaloos. Not everyone’s cup of darjeeling. Also, the name “Curry King” has been used many times. This may be something I do in the future, but until I get a good name for it, and good criteria (and actual followers to this blog again), it’ll be on the back burner, for want of a better expression.

Sunshine FM

Ahhh, Coatesy suggested this one!

You may remember Coatesy. He was once regularly featured on the blog. Unfortunately, about 5 or 6 years ago, we lost touch, and thanks to the magic of Facebook, have got back in touch.

Waaay back in the mid 2000s, we recorded “Sunshine FM”. Basically, it was a “radio show” that went on for an hour. I use the quotes, because, of course, it was never intended to be broadcast, and heard by nobody else other than us two.

It was put onto CD, and I don’t think I ever listened to it again. I don’t know if Coatesy ever got a copy.

The original CD was binned in 2011, however, due to my own personal archive policy, I ripped the CD, so it still exists as an MP3 file!


I’ve taken a listen to a little bit of it, and oh boy. Basically, it was “shout into the microphone, say fuck to the point where even *I* think it’s unnecessary, and then play music at a much quieter volume.

I used to record these pretendy “radio shows” going back to when I was a kid, and technically I never stopped. To this day, I still knock out an occasional “I Bet You Don’t Like This”, where I dig through the worst of my record collection, and do hour-long podcasts about them. IBYDLT did find its way onto an online radio station, however this station is now defunct.

Pubs, curry houses 8)

I guess that one’s similar to the curry king thing. Pubs is one I’d be interested in doing. I still frequent The Mill House on a regular basis. It’s about to change hands, so it’ll be interesting to see that happens there

Didn’t you have a blog before lol


Keep it topical. The EU Referendum

There’s three things I’ll never blog about. Religion, politics, and girlfriends. Opinions on leaving the EU are like arseholes. Everyone’s got one, but I don’t particularly want to hear it.

I will say this, I’d like to hit the person who invented the word “Brexit” hard. In the face. With a chair.


An interesting one. Personally, I use Dove. Yeah, I know it’s a girly thing, but sod you all. I prefer Dove, over any other brand of soap. My face has the annoying habit of breaking out in a red rash if I use normal soap )same thing happens when I shave) if I use any other brand. So, it’s Dove all the way. Plus, I like the smell.


a. Get with the times. It’s all about the vlog now
b.He’s done some vlogs. Should never been seen

Yes, I did do some blogs. I’m pretty sure these are now nearly 10 years old. The problem with the vlogs, is that by the time I’d recorded, edited, added captions and music, it was easier to just type a damn blog. Nothing has changed. Here’s a quick example of what the vlogs were like, for those who missed them…

I actually started the vlog originally, because I wanted to see how quickly I began to gain negative comments. I’d planned to have a section on here about the hate comments, and then reply in my own way about them. In the entire series of videos, there was one persion who called me a “cheeky c*nt”. Turned out people actually quite liked the vlogs, so it sort of backfired.

Your 7 inches

I once knew a guy who worked in a bookshop. A woman came into the shop and asked if he had a book on double-entendres. So he gave her one.

At present, there are over 1,800 7″ singles in the collection. I could, literally type about them all day. Funnily enough, I’d started writing a blog about my last trip to the record fair, but I’d written about 1,000 words and I hadn’t even got as far as getting off the train, so I never finished it. Literally a case of tl;dw.

Lamp posts.

Ahhh, I said we’d get back to this subject, and we have. Thanks Chad for suggesting this. Again, this is something I’ve meant to type about for a good long while, as Hartlepool has “gone through the change”. No, not in a menopausal way, but the majority of its streetlighting stock has now been converted to LED.

One thing that did happen though, is that a lamp post fell over on Wednesday on the Powlett Road roundabout. I was heading to work, and I saw it collapsed, as apparently the base had rusted through.

Ironically, it was one of the few columns that had escaped the change, and was carrying the last 1980s GEC z2994M GRP canopy SOX lantern. Unfortunately it hadn’t worked for a while, and that may be why it was never replaced. It might have been in such a bad shape, that they were going to replace it.

Seems like gravity gave them a helping hand.

EDIT: This post has been updated to say the post had been updated. It was actually carrying an Ampera LED lantern, which was installed 10 days before the column fell over. Still, it was the last Z9554m lighting Hartlepool’s streets anyway.

And just as I was about to hit Submit, here’s another one!

Smelly public transport

Unfortunately, I have eyes that are shit, and are only going to get shitter. For those who followed my laser eye surgery post, I got the letter through today, so I know the date I’m going under. That’s obviously for another blog though. The previous statement means that I obviously have to rely on public transport for my daily commutes.

There was the time, just a month or two back when I got on the bus, a red-hot day. I had my headphones on, and just as I was putting my card on the reader, my ears heard the sound of retching. Yup, a lady was actually being sick on the bus. Thankfully, her husband, who didn’t seem to be too unfazed by the event, had provided her with a carrier bag, and the vomiting, coughing, spitting and of course, the smell, carried on for the entire journey.

I can’t say why she was being sick so violently. The bus runs from Middlesbrough, so she may have just got out of hospital. The whole thing was just unpleasant for all concerned.

Right, anyway, I’m going to leave you with that lovely thought in your head. Any further suggestions, let me know in the comments. They *do* work, you know.