I have the sad duty of announcing the death of a good friend and work colleague. Stu, one of the security guards who look after where I work, sadly died of a heart attack yesterday.

I feel that I can’t say much more than that. I am truly, truly devastated. He really was one of the best blokes you were ever likely to meet. I have known him pretty much from when I started at my job 8 years ago.

We would often spend time joking with each other about which one finished our shifts first. I would often say, as I was leaving the building, someting along the lines of “Well, there’s 8 cold ones in the fridge for when I get in”, normally resulting in a glare, and a “Yeah, go on, fuck off!”, which was even more prominent if he just happened to be starting his night shift as I was leaving. One of the best examples of this was when he was on Messenger, at work. He was sat in his little security office, and I took a photo over the line of cold cans I was about to drink. Honestly, you’ve never heard swearing like it. It was hilarious. He always remembered that night, and would often remind me of it, usually adding the word “twat” to the end of it.

I recall the time I received a call on my mobile from him. I can’t remember the exact details of what it was he asked me, in fact, I didn’t even know it was him, as he called from a different number. When he realised I was out, enjoying several and/or many pints, alongside a game of snooker, my phone turned blue.

He will always hold the record for the “most calls taken by a security guard”, following the release of a particularly bugged piece of software. I think it was something like 400.

He was a stickler to the golden rule… if you order a takeaway to be delivered to work, you always ask the security guard if he wants anything. Otherwise, your food may be subject to a 20-minute “cooling off” period in his office. Many a new worker fell foul to that rule, only to be presented with luke-warm, stodgy chips! If you asked him if he wanted anything, your food would be hand-delivered to your desk, no questions asked, and no matter what type of “eating at your desk” ban may have been in place at the time. To put it simply, if you respect him, he respects you, and that goes for everything.

My memories of Stu are long and rambling. He was a great guy, a true asset to the company, and someone who will be sorely missed by all who knew him. I’ll miss you mate.