You know, it’s taken me eight years to work out why I always struggle to think of a title for these blog posts,. It’s because when I start typing them, I never actually know where I’m about to go with them. Maybe I should add the title at the end, when I’m finished the post? Nah, that would be too easy.

OK, as you can probably guess, I’m not really going anywhere with this post either. It’s just for the first time in a couple of weeks, I’m actually feeling well enough to type something, thanks to my recent bout of Acute viral rhinopharyngitis. And no, I didn’t remember the name of that, I simply just copied and pasted it from my facebook profile a few weeks ago.

Sooo, I notice there’s been a few comments left over the past few weeks, which I’ve not really had time to comment on in any great detail, most of them from Chad, but there are a few others which demand my attention… therefore…

From: Chad Taiwan, Philippines, Vietnam/Taiwan, Hawaii. Where would you go Jamie?

Well, seeing as I have very little/no knowledge of these places, it’s time to look at them strategically.

Taiwan is approximately 6,309 miles away from Mercuryvapour Towers, if you believe Google Earth. The Philippenes are 6,713 miles away. Hawaii is a staggering 7,072 miles away. I couldn’t be bothered looking up Vietnam.

Now, seeing as you no longer live anywhere near here anymore, those facts are irrelevant, and have been a complete waste of my time. It did, however, remind me, that I must blog about Google Earth’s sheer awesomeness at some point.

Now, thanks to another repressed memory plopping into my head from approximately August 7th 1992, where you didn’t believe that “Jute” was a real word while we were playing Scrabble, I shall examine these places from the standpoint of a standard Scrabble score.

Taiwan enters the game with a measly 9 points. The W being its only saviour in a selection of five other 1-point letters.
Philippines fares much better at 70 points, mainly to its length and the fact you would receive a 50 point bonus for using all of your letters.
Vietnam clocks in at 63 points, once again, thanks to the 50 point bonus.
Hawaii fares poorly in this round, amassing a measly 13 points.

I hope this helps you with your decision. Class dismissed.

From: Chad “The Philippines it is!”

Ah, good. I’m glad I helped you make up your mind…. oh, wait. You left that comment several days ago. So, I did all of that for mothing? Hmm. I’m lucky I didn’t bother going into the endemic bird count of each individual country. We’d have been here all day.

From: Noscere Yep, your right that is geeky, but then its not as geeky as your twain joke.

Tsk. You do realise I’m going to have to say it now, don’t you? Oh, OK then.

Two blank disks are talking to each other. A baby disk, and a daddy disk.
The baby disk looks up at the daddy disk, and says “When I grow up, I wanna be a twain driver!”

I’m so sorry. OK, that’s enough of the comments, I feel that I’ve done them justice for now. Thanks to all who leave comments, I do read them, and reply to them. I don’t know if anyone ever really comes back to see my “witty” responses though. Probably not.

Moving on swiftly, the following happened the other day, which didn’t make it into the last blog post, because I was fed up of typing, and never finished it properly…

The last few trips to Asda have been fun.

No, really.

I was in there about a week ago, and they had a power cut! Imagine the scene, there Iam, salivating over the chicken madrases, when all of a sudden… *clunk*. Everything switches off. The emergency lighting comes on, and everyone goes “ooooh”. I guess this was a major incident for some people. Before I had time to think “trolley dash”, the main lights come back on, everything else remained off. The fridges, the lights around the deli counter were off. After about 30 seconds, they came back on as well, with all of the ovens emitting an annoying alarm. I had to laugh at the women behind the cheese counter trying to work out how to reset the scales, before deciding to power them off. What good is switching them off and back on again going to do? Surely that’s what’s just happened?

I turned my head away in disgust at their lack of technical knowledge, and headed off for a packet of Jalapeno Pepper Party Snax, only to find that they’ve gone up from 74p to 89p.

That’s a rise of 15p for no apparent reason. I decided to pass on these, and instead got a 12-pack of exceedingly trashy crisps. They were awful, but cheap, and surely that’s what matters.

As I was stacking up the car, there was another power cut, knocking off all of the lights in the car park.

Er. Right. It’s now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The unveiling of the 2009 Daffodil photo. Dan da-da-da-da-daaaa….

It’s a beauty. I’m going to take a better one when the sun comes up properly, as it’s still quite early.

EDIT: I found my mobile, by the way, so both of my readers can quite happily ring me in confidence. Assuming they have my number. Which they probably don’t. Oh, bollocks to it. Off to take more daffydils.

(Comments are disabled, thanks to a spam attack on this post. Awwww.)

Well, I’ve not updated for a week. The last couple of postings didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I’ll start off by getting the whinging out of the way and stating that I am again, full of cold. Now, to be perfectly honest, this was to be expected. Since my previous one around December time, it felt like it never cleared up properly. I always had a bit of a chest thing going on. Over the last 5 years or so, I’ve tended to get colds in pairs, just like this one. And, hopefully, after this one disappears, I’ll be back to normal.

I blame the seasons, seeing as my intake of my “five-a-day” recently has been greater than it’s been in recent times.

Oh, and if you’ve been checking my facebook recently, you will know that I’ve lost my mobile. I have no idea where it is. Last night, I was in Horden with a few people from work, including Eddie, who left in August and I haven’t seen since. Anyway, after a bloody good night, I returned home, pretty drunk. The beer was “cheap”, and I was in the mood for a drink, seeing as I had the beginning of this cold coming on.

I awoke in the morning, looking for my phone, with it nowhere in sight. I looked everywhere.

This is where I began to panic. What happened to it? I tried to ring it, with no joy, as it had been “switched off”. This was either due to it being physically switched off, or the battery running low.

It was at that time I began to retrace my steps. Thanks to the webcam, I know that I returned home at 11:48… 14 minutes later, I’d updated my twitter via text, saying “White rabbit“. And that’s where the trace goes cold. Therefore, the mobile is more than likely in the front room somewhere, but can I hell find it. I’ve checked every conceivable place, and it’s simply not there.

Therefore, until further notice, my mobile’s out of action. This has been a service announcement on behalf of a drunk.

Right. Let’s try to move on to something more savoury. Spring is definitely on the way. It’s normally this time of year where I appreciate the fragrance of lilac trees (I await another Chad “sniffing something” comment) and the beauty of daffodils, but all of the lilac trees that were around here have been cut down, and there’s only one daffocil sprang into life in the front garden this year.

OK, I’m a little bit cheaty there, that was a photo I took last year. Hopefully, in the next few days, I’ll have better photos of the newly formed daffydil. Christ, I’m posting photos from last year, things must be desparate.