Yes! This is the best time of the year. The morning of 26th December. This is the longest possible time before we have to put up with anything to do with the “festive season”.

(EDIT: Let me just point out that the thing on the back of the sofa is a dog chew, not some type of weird sex toy)

This time, a year ago, I’d have been in a car on my way down to Stevenage, but there shall be none of those shenannigans this year.

Sooo, back to this Xmas then. Well, it was garbage, not that I expected it to be any different, therefore I wasn’t disappointed.

The day started with one of Daddykins’ friends dressed up in a Santa costume bearing gifts.

It was then a case of seeing which TV channel didn’t make me want to throw something at the TV. Turns out that they were showing Wallace and Gromit on UK Gold. Good stuff.

So, they were watched for the umpteenth thime, and Daddykins went out for his Xmas lunch. I thought it was about time that I cooked my own Xmas dinner…

Mmmm, is there anything more festive than a Morrisons boil-in-the-bag Chicken Madras for one, cooked in such a way that the rice was still partially frozen, and has to get zapped in the microwave for longer than what the box suggested?

Oh, OK. I shall await the comments regarding my curry consumption. There’s no point cooking a Xmas dinner just for myself.

Another reason why I strayed from the traditional festive grub (for the 29th year in a row) is that I’ve already had my fair share of Xmas dinners this year, the highlight being a visit to the Hillcarter a week or two ago. Mmmm. I’m making myself hungry just thinking about it.

But there’s one thing about hosted Xmas dinners which I think it complete and utter shit, namely Christmas Bloody Crackers, and their contents. Fine, the party hat is OK, and the jokes are predictably terrible, but what about the little prize toy thing? Why are they always completely shit? Take the afore mentioned dinner at the Hillcarter for example.

Why would ANYONE want a fake green fingernail? And why did I keep hold of it in the first place?