Bugger, once again, I nearly burn the house down with a culinary snack fit for a king.

Last night, I returned home from the pub (says it all really), and was absolutely famished. I raided the cupboard, only to find it was bare. I raised the freezer, and pulled out two Morrison’s frozen curries. Awesome! Well, it was actually one chicken madras, and one normal chicken curry. I was starving, so I thought “What the hell”, and threw them both into the pan, surrounded by lots of water.

I left them to simmer, whlst watching the clock. It would be 35 minutes until the golden curries were ready to be consumed. This momentous event would take place at precisely 1:01AM.

In the meantime, on went the telly. I had a good old flick around, eventually settling for Inspector Morse. Unfortunately, by the time I’d thought “Bloody hell, Kevin Whately looks young there”, I was sound asleep

I awoke, in time to see the clock switch to… 4AM. Ahem. The air was filled with the musty smell of burned rice, and all I could do is sigh at my lost meal. Indeed, the pans were bone dry, the plastic bags were shadows of their former selves, and the bottom of the pan was lined with thick, black mush…

Out into the yard it went. It was raining, so I laid the pan in the small puddle which always forms when it rains…. “whhoooOOoooosh”. Up went a great plume of steam.

Tsk. So, not only was my supper completely ruined, there has been an overwhelming smell of burned curry in the kitchen ever since. Delicious!

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