Hello. I am Jamie, and I have been watching your annual darts coverage at The Lakeside, and I have a few suggestions.

Firstly, get rid of the current theme music and opening sequence. It’s crap. Bring back the famous 80′s combination of “Cranes” by The Doug Wood Band, followed by dramatic wiews of the camera flying around a dartboard. That was ace.

Secondly, I would recommend against Ray Stubbs wearing that stupid microphone on his face. I don’t know what made you think that microphones sellotaped to the side of the presenters’ faces looked good anyway. It doesn’t, and it never will. What was wrong with the old-style lapel microphones, or even actually holding one like they do when they interview somebody?

Also, when the players are actually THROWING, I would suggest keeping the camera on the dartboard at all times. Although I am quite aware that the audience have paid the entrance fee, I pay my license fee, which is considerably more, and, after seeing random views of the audience, I don’t expect to see a dart already in the board when the director eventally returns. This is expecially important when the players are throwing at doubles.

On a similar subject, please do not allow your children / cats / wives play with the mixing desk. Should you need to switch to a different camera angle, do it, and stay there. Do not skip through them all, and then decide the original one was better.

Speaking about camera angles, there is no need to have one of those crane cameras whooshing about the place. Yes, I know, the whole point of it is to show the “BBC Sport” logo attached to one of the lights, but it’s very distracting. Get someone to hold up a card with the logo on, or something.

Your on-screen scoring. Why the hell is it so small? Now, OK, my telly is pretty big, but we don’t all have super duper high-definition mega detail ultra-tellies. What have you gained by making it that size?

Finally, how about “rejigging” your schedule so that if you’re going to actually show the darts, how about you don’t leave a match right in the final stages, and say “Press red if you want to follow the match”. This involves having to find the original Sky remote, in order to press red. I’m sure your re-runs of Porrige are a ratings hit, but please, give more notice if you decide to push the coverage over to your… ahem… “interactive” channel.

One last thing… Sky Sports probably has a darts tournament coming up in the coming weeks. Should you not understand any of these requests, please watch this in order to see how you should really broadcast darts.

Lots of love,
Angry Jamie.

P.S. The BBC Sports logo above the “Lakeside” sign is too small to see on my perfectly normal TV. Please fix this so I know who is broadcasting.