I’m in one of those moods where I look around here, and really wish there was something I could post about. I want to actually write something, but I don’t know what. I could blather on about technical stuff to do with the site, such as the fact that the main database table holding the posts for the site has went from 1.6Mb to 2.4Mb for no appearent reason, but I won’t mention that, as I’m sure it will all bore you rigid.

Of course, this lack of news-worthy updates does mean that I’ve been in work for the past 2 days. Things are not looking good either, as I start a new shift pattern, which means I will now be dealing with contracts which I have not dealt with since September, and have completely changed since then. And, it’s going to be like this for the next 4 weeks at least. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or have a stress breakdown. I’m going to be asking questions over everything. Now, this wouldn’t be too bad, but I’ve been there for six years, and should know more than anyone else there, but I’ve spent so much of the last few months on nightshift, I’ve been “out of the way”. Oh, it’s going to be fun. Expect some depressing posts in the next few weeks.

Chris, who regular viewers will know, is now working with Noscere at the same place.

Right, I’m now strugging for stuff to type about. I’ll resurrect another one of my abandoned postings from a few weeks ago. I wrote this and never really finished it, though I’m sick of looking at it every time I log in to the site, so here it is!

On-Demand TV. A user’s opinion.

Back in the olden days before broadband, there used to be these things called video cassettes, which got inserted into video reocrders, and with a few presses of the remote, these wonderful contraptions recorded your favourite TV shows so you can watch them later. It was timeshifting. It’s as if YOU were in charge of your television!

Times changed, and as broadband speeds got quicker, and if you skip certain things such as Sky+, your PC became your video recorder, Torrent sites sprang up all over allowing you to download entire programs for you to watch at your convenience. This brought the fun back into um… televisfun. Of course, this meant that “the man” cried out, waving the copyright law book around, screaming for justice, despite the fact, all that the average user was doing was simply the same - timeshifting.

If only there was something they could do about it… and voila! 4 years after the horse first bolted, the first “on demand” services start popping up, allowing you to download programmes to view later.

Let’s start off with 4od. it’s a great starting out, as it’s the only one I’ve actually used.

It is 6PM. I’m bored out of my skull, trying to think of something worth watching. Suddenly, I glance up at the clock with an air of excitement, then breathe a deep sigh of sadness as I realise that I have indeed, missed today’s episode of Countdown. Poo.

I load up 4od, type in “countdown”, and would you believe it, there’s today’s episode a simple mouse click away. Wahey! So, I begin the download. The estimated time to download is roughly twice the length of the show Whether it’s planned this way, or just a miracle of mathematics, it’s hard to say. It begins to download, and I wait patiently for it to finish, so I can get my daily fix of looking smugly at the TV, whilst saying “Well, I got 7, and they only got 6! Losers!”

Within minutes (well, upwards of an hour if I’m honest), I now have my freshly downloaded copy of Countdown ready.

And this is where the big difference between on-demand TV and home recording lies. Yes, that 3-letter acronym… DRM, which stands for Digital Rights Management. Now, the big, big difference between these on-demand services, and recording them yourself (or god forbid, getting them from a torrent site), is that the files you download from these services are licensed only for a limited time. Once the download is complete, it gets associated with your account, and it grants you a license to view the file for only a matter of time. I think for most things on 4od, it’s currently 2 weeks from when it finishes downloading or possibly when it first aired. As soon as you click play, however, this drops down to a maximum of 48 hours, which means you have two days to watch whatever you’ve downloaded as many times as you can handle. Not a problem for Countdown, as it’s one of those shows you don’t have to watch again…

Some programmes you have to actually pay for - I was going to download some of the earlier episodes of “Fonejacker”, only to find that they were 99p to rent, or £1.99 to buy permanently. I assume this means that it doesn’t time out.

At the minute, 4od has some of the older archive programmes available for free download, such as the entire series of Father Ted, the first series of Desmonds, and some other shows in which they’re famous for. I’m assuming this is so they can get the system tested for when it goes live officially.

All of the above may change, as the system is currently in beta. The DRM will be here to stay, that’s a guarantee, but as long as this on-demand stuff is used for timeshifting purposes only, then it could be a winning formula. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have Des ‘n’ Carol to watch…

And, that’s the end of the quote. Since I watched that, I haven’t really bothered with 4od, or in fact, any telly for that matter. On the subject of the box, however, I’m disappointed to see that “I’m a celebrity” has returned to our screens. This is certainly something that on-demand TV shouldn’t be used for. It’s diabolically bad.

Have you noticed, that each of these “reality” shows, has at least one “celebrity” which the whole world expect to make an absolute prick of themselves? The original “Celebrity” Big Brother started with the mental breakdown of Vanessa Feltz, yet you can’t remember anyone else in that particular season. Shortly after, it was Michael Barrymore. And then…. oh, let’s just cut to the point… this particular series has… Christopher Biggins.

This will be the position of my head and hand, should my TV remote accidentally stray away from the continued series of Top Gear and Buzzcocks.

One “celebrity” in there, which I do have a bit of an interest in, is Marc Bannerman. A blog which I frequently read is one entitled “Shit Sandwich”, and I posted a comment on there, which I shall copy and paste, as I can’t be arsed typing it out again.

“Marc Bannerman played one of the greek ones in Eastenders (or Italian, can’t remember), though I remember him much more from Al Murray’s “Time Gentlemen Please”, where he played the rival landlor Greg Thompson, whose catchphrase always involved him implying that he had a massive cock. ”

Of course, that’s going to get a load of unintentional results from search engines, but you may remember that a few years ago, I went to see Time Gentlemen Please being recorded, so I’ve actually seen him live. Typing this in here will allow me to never mention it again, or at least for the duration of this series, because I subconsciously assume that everyone who knows me reads this website. Bwahaha.

Um… Andy Fordham’s lost weight, hasn’t he? Good for him.

Righgt, I think I’ll leave it here. I’ve not done too badly, considering that an hour or so ago, I had nothing at all to type about.

Technorati Tags: 4 on demand, 40d, andy fordham, celebrity, christopher biggins, facepalm, iacgmooh, marc bannerman, television, telly, work