Well, it is no more than a number of small, wee hours before I depart this great land and head skywards to the land of many different types of sausage, and “Ich habe eine scheidenenzundung” is a polite way of informing your doctor that you have a vaginal infection.

Interestingly, my little £4.99 phrase book doesn’t have the… um… “penis” equivalent…. The dictionary part goes from penicillin, to penknife Ironically, both of these, could cure an infection in the ol’ trouser equipment department, one in a slightly more brutal fashion than the other. So, just in case, does anyone know the german for “My little man is weeping stinky green tears”?

Actually, no, don’t bother.

Moooooooving on rather quickly, I’ll try to change the subject from my holibobs, despite the fact everything I currently think about returns to thinking about it….. sooo, streetlights, then.

Yes, I did witness the removal of some old streetlights not too far away from where I live…

Forgive my shocking ineptitude when it came to taking this image. I had my phone headset on threaded through my t-shirt, and it was just too short for me to hold it at a comfortable angle. The one to the right, on the other side of the road also got taken down.

Oh, yes, I also promised an update on the shirt. Yes, THE shirt. The night I took that picture, I wore it to the club, in the hope to get a reaction. It didn’t take long…. I think I counted about 14 seconds before some random guy, who I believe was called Brian, said something. He was sat in a chair behind me. I had just approached the bar, after entering the club during a particularly heavy rain shower….

Brian: “Is it raining outside??”
Me: “Yeah, just a bit…”
Brian: “I can see that, your cannabis leaves are growing”.

I’d have been rolling around on the floor if it hadn’t been for the fact I’d thought of exactly the same. In fact, in order to emphasise the fact, I was going to show that picture of the shirt next to a picture of a cannabis farm I’d found on Channel 4’s website. But, then they might have done me for copyright, so I never used it….

There’s method in my madness. This shirt is probably going to be the one I wear on the plane (back to the holidays again, sorry), and as I’ve never been in a plane before, I have no idea if I’m going to be airsick or not. But, if I AM airsick, and I miss the bag, it won’t show up on this shirt!

Anyway, this is more than likely going to be my last posting before the holiday. Play nice, feel free to leave comments, though they won’t be authorised until I get back. I intend to have the first internet-free week of my life since 1998.

EDIT: You know, in the previous post, I whinged about the 30p it cost to send a text message to Jth which he will never receive? The other day, my phone accidentally sent 15 blank MMS messages to Coatesy, again at 30p a pop. That’s going to cost me £4.50 when my bill comes in. You know what’s the killer? He didn’t receive any of them either. Grrrrr.

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